Fun_People Archive
28 Mar
(MAD?) COW JOKES

Date: Thu, 28 Mar 96 03:18:55 -0800
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: (MAD?) COW JOKES

Forwarded-by: Mario Profaca <mprofaca@PUBLIC.SRCE.HR>

Cow Joke #1
----------------

    A New York family bought a ranch out West where they intended to raise
cattle.  Friends visited and asked if the ranch had a name.

   "Well," said the would-be cattleman, "I wanted to name it the Bar-J.  My
wife favored Suzy-Q, one son like the Flying-W, and the other wanted the
Lazy-Y.  So we're calling it the Bar-J-Suzy-Q-Flying-W-Lazy-Y."

    "But where are all your cattle?" the friends asked.

    "None survived the branding."


Cow Joke #2
----------------

There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields.
The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty
scary.  They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the
Johnson Farm."  The other cow replies, "Hell, I ain't worried, it don't
affect us ducks."



Cow Joke #3
----------------

    An American tourist goes into a restaurant in Spain and orders the
specialty of the house.  When his dinner arrives, he asks the waiter what
it is.  "These, senor," replied the waiter in broken English, "are the
cojones, how you say, the testicles, of the bull killed in the ring today."

    The tourist swallowed hard but tasted the dish and thought it was
delicious.  So he comes back the next evening and orders the same item.

    When it is served, he says to the waiter, "These cojones, or whatever
you call them...are much smaller than the ones I had last night."

    "Yes, senor," replied the waiter, "You see...the bull, he does not
always lose."



Cow Joke #4
----------------

    There was a herd of cattle all standing on a hill when an earthquake
struck.  All of the cows fell down, but the bull remained standing.  The
farmer noticing this went out and asked the bull, "Why didn't you fall down
like the rest of the herd.

    The bull replied, "We bulls wobble, but we don't fall down."


***
What do you call a sleeping bull?  A bull-dozer.

***
What do you call a cow with no front legs?  Lean Beef

***
What do you call a cow with no legs at all?  Ground beef
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