Fun_People Archive
5 Mar
WhiteBoardness - 3/4/96

Date: Tue, 5 Mar 96 00:33:28 -0800
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: WhiteBoardness - 3/4/96

Excerpted-from: WhiteBoard News for Monday, March 04, 1996

Miami, Florida:

A pair of bumbling teenagers trying to rob a grocery store shot and wounded
each other during the heist, police said Saturday.

"I've had robbers shoot themselves before, but I never had two robbers shoot
each other," said Detective Tom Pellechio of Miami's Metro-Dade police.

Police arrested Wesley Steny, 16, and Jeanis Caty, 18, for allegedly robbing
a Miami grocery store Tuesday evening.

A third uninjured teenager was also charged, but police did not release his
name.

Each youth pulled out a gun, ordered the clerks to the floor and demanded
that the cash register be opened, police said.

Witnesses said Caty started to reach over the counter when he accidentally
fired his gun, striking Steny in the thigh.  Surprised and in pain, Steny
also squeezed the trigger on his handgun, hitting Caty on the hands and
legs.

"I knew there was a mistake," said Aijaz Rizva, a store clerk.  "They were
the only ones bleeding."

The teenagers limped to the cash register and allegedly grabbed about $200,
then hobbled out the door, leaving a trail of blood, police said.

"It was a real simple case for us to solve," the detective said.  "All we
had to do was drive to the hospital."
==========

"I think being jilted is one of life's most painful experiences.  It takes
a long time to heal a broken heart.  It happens to all of us and never gets
any easier.  I understand, however, that playing one of my albums can help."

Frank Sinatra, offering advice on mending a broken heart.
==========

San Francisco, California:

If you want to run with the big dogs, you have to avoid the potholes...and
the speeding buses...and the cable cars.

But whatever you do, don't miss the rest stops at the local bars.  That's
the motto for participants in this year's Urban Iditarod, the second annual,
only-in-San-Francisco take-off on Alaska's famous dog-sled race.

"I've been to Alaska, and they've got some mighty fine dogs up there, but
I'd like to see them try to outrun a public bus or dodge a cable car," says
found "Tundra" Tommy Marsh.  "This race ain't no walk in the park!"

In Alaska, hundreds of well-trained dogs will begin pulling 60 mushers on
what is likely to be a 10-day race across 1,150 miles of nature's harshest
terrain.

Meanwhile, more than 20 "dog-sled" teams -- consisting of people in canine
costumes harnessed to shopping carts -- are expected to mush their way
through San Francisco's urban environment.

The 3.5-mile course is scheduled to start at a gentlemanly 11 AM in the
city's Financial District, where the wind blows hard through the tight rows
of high-rises.

The sled teams will wind their way through the traffic around Union Square,
up and down the killer hills of Chinatown and North Beach and, finally, will
find their way through the tourist mecca of Fisherman's Wharf before the
race comes to an end in the gentle flats of the Marina District.

Following the lead of the Alaska original, there will be several mandatory
rest stops -- all at local bars.

Last winner finished in two hours and 15 minutes.

The runner-up says he and his team are hungry for victory.

"The field is pretty tough, but many of their barks are worse then their
bites," musher Roy "Big Dog" Vella said.

Susan "Fifi" Kramer commented, "Each team has its own style.  Some play to
run, some run to play, and some just run around sniffing each other.  It's
San Francisco, after all."

Participants use whatever shopping carts they can find on the streets, then
return them to the appropriate stores at the end of the day.

© 1996 Peter Langston