Fun_People Archive
1 Mar
Weirdness [419] - 16Feb96

Date: Fri, 1 Mar 96 17:34:15 -0800
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Weirdness [419] - 16Feb96

Excerpted-from: WEIRDNUZ.419 (News of the Weird, February 16, 1996)
by Chuck Shepherd

* In Albuquerque, N. Mex., in December, George Thomas Diesel and his wife
filed a lawsuit against Foley's department store and the Levi Strauss
Company over a defective pair of 501 jeans.  According to Diesel, a rivet
in one of the fly buttons was not completely fused, causing a piece of metal
to protrude, which severely lacerated his penis the first time he put the
jeans on.  Diesel's wife wants money for the loss of her husband's services.
[Albuquerque Journal, 12-22-95]

* Bill Becker, 62, whose criminal career spans 30 years (and counting, after
a federal judge in Baltimore turned down his latest bid, in August, to
overturn a conviction for theft):  "I robbed from the rich, kind of like
Robin Hood, except I kept it." [Baltimore Sun, 8-6-95]

* An October decision of the U. S. Court of Appeals said the trial court
was right to dismiss a slander lawsuit against the Franklin County (Ohio)
Board of Elections chairman Terry Casey.  Casey had called Federal Elections
Commission official Gary Greenhalgh a "lying asshole," but the Court said
that phrase is merely rhetorical hyperbole.  Casey could not have meant,
said the Court, that someone's "anus was making an untruthful statement."
[National Law Journal, 10-30-95]

* Morristown, N. J., Town Council candidate Donald Cresitello, lamenting in
October his tight race with George E. Burke, despite the fact that Burke
had just died:  "Now he's liable to get the sympathy vote." [New York Times,
10-13-95]

Copyright 1996, Universal Press Syndicate.  All rights reserved.
Released for the entertainment of readers.  No commercial use
may be made of the material or of the name News of the Weird.

© 1996 Peter Langston