Fun_People Archive
29 Feb
Excerpted: BONG Bull No. 362!

Date: Thu, 29 Feb 96 14:37:55 -0800
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Excerpted: BONG Bull No. 362!

Forwarded-by: bostic@bsdi.com (Keith Bostic)
From: mlinksva@netcom.com (Mike Linksvayer)

THE DICKY FLATT TEST.  Before cashing in his chips and leaving the
Republican primary to the escaped herd, Texas Sen. Phil Gramm was
in the habit of using his constituent Dicky Flatt, a printer in
Mexia, Texas, as a bellwether on tough decisions.  Faced with a
what-if, Gramm said often, he would consider what hard-working
Dicky would think about it, and vote accordingly.  Being a strong
fiscal and social conservative with strong feelings about family
values, Gramm was usually against.
     So when Gramm absquatulated from the race, reports one
Wgselby(at)aol.com, an Austin (Texas) American-Statesman reporter
phoned Flatt and asked for his new pick now that Gramm had fallen,
uh, flat.  Said Mr. Flatt: "I going back in the closet." (CQ)

WHEREAS OUR STYLE IS 'NITWITS,' SINCE 'MORONS' HAS A LEGAL
DEFINITION.  Jerry Bunin (jbunin(at)slonet.org) of the San Luis
Obispo (Calif.) Telegram-Tribune relates the exciting story of the
Mustang Daily, the Cal Poly University student newspaper.  It ran
a four-column AP article about a Ku Klux Klan protest in Modesto
under the headline, "Ignorant, racist a------s in white sheets
dance around like morons, protest Black History Month."
     Mustang Daily Editor-in-Chief Jason Plemons, who was opposed
by the entire student editorial board, told the Telegram-Tribune
that he agreed he had crossed the line, and if he had the same
story to do over again, he would have put it with that headline on
the editorial page instead.

© 1996 Peter Langston