Fun_People Archive
20 Feb
College Student Light Bulb Jokes

Date: Tue, 20 Feb 96 02:01:02 -0800
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: College Student Light Bulb Jokes

Forwarded-by: Daniel Steinberg <dss@opcode.com>
Forwarded-by: Mike Muskin <muskin@opcode.com>
Forwarded-by: B. Ballard who solicits further contributions...
[No, I don't know an address for B. Ballard...  -psl]


	COLLEGE STUDENT LIGHT BULB JOKES


How many Princeton students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two---one to mix the martinis and one to call the electrician.

How many Brown students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Eleven---one to change the lightbulb and ten to share the experience.

How many Dartmouth students does it take to change a lightbulb?
None---Hanover doesn't have electricity.

How many Cornell students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two--One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure.

How many Penn students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but he gets six credits for it.

How many Columbia students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seventy-six--one to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb's
right to not change, and twenty-five to hold a counter-protest.

How many Yale students does it take to change a lightbulb?
None--New Haven looks better in the dark.

How many Harvard students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One--he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him

How many MIT students does it take to change a lightbulb?
five --one to design a nuclear-powered one that never needs changing,
        one to figure out how to power the rest of Boston using that
           nuked lightbulb,
        two to install it,
        and one to write the computer program that controls
           the wall switch.

How many Vassar students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Eleven--One to screw it and ten to support its sexual orientation

How many Middlebury students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five--One to change the lightbulb and four to find the perfect J. Crew
outfit to wear for the occasion.

How many Stanford students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One, dude.

How many Oberlin students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three--One to change it and two to figure out how to get high off the
old one.

How many Georgetown students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four--One to change it, one to call Congress about their progress, and
two to throw the old bulb at American U. students.

How many Duke students does it take to change a lightbulb?
A whole frat--but only one of them is sober enough to get the bulb out
of the socket.

How many Williams students does it take to change a lightbulb?
The whole student body--when you're snowed in, there's nothing else to do.

How many Tufts students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two--One to change the bulb and the other to say loudly how he did it
as well as an Ivy League student.

How many Sarah Lawrence students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Five--One to change the bulb and four to do an interpretive dance about it.

How many Swarthmore students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Eight--It's not that one isn't smart enough to do it, it's just that
they're all violently twitching from too much stress.

How many Mount Holyoke students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One--she calls a Smithie to do it.

How many Boston University students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four--One to change the bulb and two to check his math homework.

How many Amherst students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Thirteen--One to change the bulb and an a capella group to immortalize
the event in song.

How many Wesleyan students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Wesleyan's boycotting GE . . . you know, military-industrial complex
and all that.

How many Connecticut College students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two--One to change the bulb and one to complain about how if they were
at a better school the lightbulb wouldn't go out.

How many Bucknell students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One--but he'll only change it if he can put in a white-light bulb.

How many Bowdoin students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Three--One to ski down to the general store and buy the bulb, one to
take the chairlift back to school, and one to screw it in.

How many Bard students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One--but she'll only do it if it's an alternative light bulb.

How many Boston College students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Seven--One to change the light bulb and six to throw a party because he
didn't screw it in upside down this time.

How many Reed students does it take to change a lightbulb?
One--and she doesn't even need a ladder because she has platform
Birkenstocks.

How many Notre Dame students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Well. . .
  One to distract the rector,
   one to make a bulb run,
    one to change the bulb,
     one to light a candle for it at the Grotto,
      three to discuss the unparalleled lightbulb-changing tradition at ND,
       seventy to sing the fight song,
        and eight thousand to check ND's ranking in the lightbulb-
         changing polls.

© 1996 Peter Langston