Fun_People Archive
20 Feb
WhiteBoardness - 2/19/96

Date: Tue, 20 Feb 96 01:52:37 -0800
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: WhiteBoardness - 2/19/96

Excerpted-from: WhiteBoard News for Monday, February 19, 1996

San Rafael, California:

A man who legally changed his name to Ubiquitous Perpetuity God began
serving a nine-month sentence for indecent exposure last week.

The 68-year-old man has been convicted 18 times for similar offenses since
1978.

His latest arrest came October 26, 1995, when he exposed himself to a woman
waiting in line at a coffee shop.

He said he acted so women "could have some type of awareness of God,"
according to police reports.

Superior Court Judge Lynn O'Malley Taylor addressed the defendant as "Mr.
God" at a hearing last week and sentenced him to nine months in Marin County
Jail.  He will be released to a residential mental health facility if one
agrees to admit him, she said.

He was born Enrique Silberg in Cuba and immigrated to the United States.
A court-appointed  psychiatrist, Dr. Dianne McEwen, said he suffers from a
"severe psychotic delusional disorder."
==========

Canberra, Australia:

Scientists at the Australian National University in Canberra have designed
a silent, self-fueling and environmentally friendly lawn mower powered by
rabbits.

Visiting fellow Dr. Nigel Wace built a rolling rabbit run from recycled
bicycle wheels, large gauge wire, netting and buckets.  Powered by Flotsam
and Jetsam, two large male rabbits, the device is rolled to new pastures
after the rabbits have nibbled the lawn beneath them, fertilizing as they
go.  Water and feed supplements are also given to the animals.

Earlier trials involving a male and female rabbit were abandoned because
the animals kept having sex.
==========

Pasco, Washington:

A nude sculpture has been removed from City Hall after numerous complaints.

The bronze sculpture -- titled "To the Democrats, Republicans and
Bipartisans" -- depicts a woman mooning her audience.

The sculpture was removed Thursday despite the artist's claim of censorship.

Artist Sharon Rupp of Kennewick demanded officials put a bag over the piece
with a sign reading "Censored by City Hall."

But city officials refused.

Instead, they removed all three of Rupp's sculptures and will leave the
display case empty for now.

"It's a city hall, not a gallery," said Kurt Luhrs, assistant to City
Manager Gary Crutchfield.

"It's not city's intent to create controversy or create a
what's-behind-the-bag interest.

Rupp said she was upset about the sculpture's removal because she didn't
ask to display it in the first place.

The Mid-Columbia Arts Council asked her to participate in the rotating
exhibit it oversees at City Hall, she said.

The city pays the arts council $2,000 a year for the exhibit, which changes
every three months.
==========

Pasadena, California:

Brain Wash sounds like that drippy thing that happens to Miata drivers who
pull into the carwash with their tops down.

But Brain Wash is actually something far, far yuckier.

It is a bluish, herbal soft drink blended with ingredients from such fine
food groups as jalapeno peppers, ginkgo leaves and Mad Dog weed.  It is
guaranteed to stain your mouth a sort of neon sapphire for 24 hours after
ingesting.  And its label features an eerie skull and crossbones with a VERY
exposed brain.

All this, for just $2.50.  Per bottle.  Really.

Made under the brand name Skeleteens, Brain Wash was concocted in a backyard
bathtub two years ago by two Pasadena entrepreneurs who once played guitar
in rival garage bands.

This is not your father's soft drink.  Brain Wash may actually be the
Skeleteens label with the tamest name.  There's also Love Potion No. 69,
DOA, and the cult-like popular, ginger and ginseng-laden Fukola Cola.

But bigger things are in store for Skeleteens and it's parent company
Skeleteens/Eat Me Foods.  Next up is Rat Bastard Root Beer and black
cornflakes (name not chosen yet.)

And not all upcoming ideas are strictly in-house.  Coming soon, in a
co-production with one of California's biggest dairies, an ice cream-like
dessert which they plan to call Scream.  Their first flavor is a
chocolate-like and certain to raise eyebrows with it's name: Icecrement.

© 1996 Peter Langston