Fun_People Archive
20 Jan
Walking In A Winter Wonderland

Date: Sat, 20 Jan 96 02:22:43 -0800
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Walking In A Winter Wonderland

Forwarded-by: bostic@bsdi.com (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: Mike Grupenhoff <kashmir@umiacs.umd.edu>
Forwarded-by: Mike Donovan <khisanth@darklair.com>
Forwarded-by: Sheryl Galchutt <sheryl@noc.digex.net>

			A Texan Moves North

January 10th:
	It's 5:00pm and it's starting to snow.  The first of the season
and the first one we've seen in years.  The wife and I took our hot
buttered rum and sat by the picture window watching the soft flakes drift
down, cling to the trees and cover the ground.  It was so beautiful.

January 11th:
	We woke to a lovely blanket of crystal white snow covering the
landscape.  What a fantastic sight.  Every tree and shrub covered with
a beautiful mantle.  I shoveled snow for the first time in my life and
loved it.  I did both driveway and sidewalk.  Later, a snowplow came along
and accidentally covered up the driveway with compacted snow from the
street.  The driver waved and smiled.  I waved back and shoveled again.

January 12th:
	It snowed an additional 5 inches last night and the temperature
has dropped to 11 degrees.  Several tree limbs have snapped from the snow.
I shoveled the drive again.  Afterwards, the snowplow came again.  Now
the snow is brownish-gray.

January 13th:
	It warmed enough today to cause slush which froze again when the
temperature dropped.  Bought snow tires for both cars.  Fell on my ass in
the driveway, $145.00 to chiropractor.  Nothing broken.  More snow.

January 14th:
	Still cold as hell.  Sold the wife's car.  Bought a 4x4 to get
her to work.  Slid into a guardrail anyway with considerable damage.
Another 8 inches of snow last night.  Both vehicles covered with salt and
crud.  More shoveling for me.  The goddamn snowplow came twice today.

January 15th:
	It's 8 fucking degrees outside.  More fucking snow.  Not a tree
on our property that hasn't been damaged.  Power was off most of the
night.  Tried to keep from freezing to death with candles and a kerosene
heater, which tipped over and nearly burned the fucking house down.
Managed to put out the flames but suffered 2nd degree burns on my hands
plus lost all my eyelashes and eyebrows.  Car slid off the road on the
way to the emergency room, and totaled it.

January 16th:
	More motherfucking goddamn white shit keeps coming down.  Have to
put on all the clothes we own just to get to the fucking mailbox.  If I
ever catch the son-of-a-bitch who drives the fucking snowplow, I'll tear
open his chest and rip out his heart.  I think he hides around the corner
till after I've shoveled.  Power is still off.  Toilet froze.  Roof has
started to cave in.

January 17th:
	Six more fucking inches of this white shit and fucking sleet and
no telling what the fuck else will happen.  I wounded the snowplow asshole
with an ice ax, but he got away.  Wife left me.  The car won't start.  I
think I'm going snow-blind.  I can't feel my fucking toes.  haven't seen
the sun in weeks and more white shit forecasted.  Wind chill is 22 below.
moving back to Texas.

© 1996 Peter Langston