Fun_People Archive
2 Jan
Grandpa's Christmas Fruitcake Recipe

Date: Tue, 2 Jan 96 01:04:51 -0800
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Grandpa's Christmas Fruitcake Recipe

Forwarded-by: bostic@bsdi.com (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: John Kunze <jak@ckm.ucsf.edu>
Forwarded-by: rsr@violet.berkeley.edu

Grandpa's Christmas Fruitcake Recipe

You'll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large
brown eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown,
sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whiskey.

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.

Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it's the highest
quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer,
beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar
and beat again.

Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer.
Beat two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the tuner. If the fired druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it
loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt.
Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and
strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon.  Of sugar or something. Whatever
you can find.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat
off the turner. Throw the bowl out the window. Check the whiskey again
and go to bed.

© 1996 Peter Langston