Fun_People Archive
26 Sep
WhiteBoardness 9/25/95

Date: Tue, 26 Sep 95 12:17:56 -0700
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: WhiteBoardness 9/25/95

Excerpted-from: WhiteBoard News for September 25, 1995


"I don't believe you can sample 250 million people with 1,200 (Nielsen)
families.  I don't care what kind of science you give me, I say the sample
is wrong.  Do they measure college dorms?  People on the road at Motel 6? 

Prison?  I'm probably big in prisons."

	-- Television host Tom Snyder on television ratings.
==========

Bangkok, Thailand:

What better gift for your kids than free air fare -- for life.  It takes a
bit of planning, but it's not as complicated as some frequent-flier plans.
Just do what Dararasami Thongcharoen's mom did: give birth on board a Thai
Airways plane.

Dararasami was born on Thai Airlines flight 641 from Tokyo just after it
landed in Bangkok.  She was two months premature and weighed only 4.4
pounds, but she and her mother were reported doing fine afterwards.

Dararasami is now considered a "daughter of Thai Airways" (the third for
the 35-year-old carrier).  In addition to flying privileges, she'll get an
educational scholarship from the airline.
==========

New York, New York:

"What no one knows is that the Justice Department told us that the
Unabomber had to write all the sketches.  It may not have been funny
but we saved lives."

	-- Norm McDonald, "Saturday Night Live" comedian, explaining why
	   the show wasn't exactly up to par last season.
==========

Tombstone, Arizona:

Yep, it's enough to make ol' Wyatt Earp turn in his grave.

And probably everyone in Boot Hill cemetery too.

Last week, the manure hit the fan in this Wild West town of mock gunfights,
plank sidewalks and hitching posts when the City Council tentatively
approved a measure requiring horses to wear diapers or dung bags when on
city streets.

Seems Councilwoman Rose Iachetti, who sponsored the measure, is more than
a little worried that tourists aren't watching where they're walking and
could be creating a health hazard in Tombstone stores.

But the council action certainly isn't sitting well with local merchants
and Tombstone's Historic Districts Commission, which says that action is
anything but historically correct.

"This whole thing is a bunch of horse hockey," bookstore owner Jack Fiske
said.  "We've got this city councilwoman from New York who has a fecal
fixation.  Wonderful."  (Fiske may sound bitter.  He has been ticketed for
riding a horse at night because it didn't have headlights or tailights.)

Former Mayor Alex Gradillas, however, favors the waste measure.

"I'm always seeing cars run over those piles," Gradillas said.  "With the
boom in tourism, there are more and more of these wagons on the streets.
Something has to be done."

But City Clerk Charolette Gilbert said that if the ordinance is enacted,
it'll disappoint her grandchildren.

"After they ride the coach, all they talk about is what comes out of those
horses," Gilbert said.

"Of course, they're city kids."
==========

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© 1995 Peter Langston