Fun_People Archive
22 Sep
Ultra Slim-Fast vs. Science Teachers

Date: Fri, 22 Sep 95 12:54:09 -0700
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Ultra Slim-Fast vs. Science Teachers

Forwarded-by: marca@wilson.harvard.edu (Marc Abrahams)
Excerpted-from: mini-AIR Aug 95

1995-08-07	Ultra Slim-Fast vs. Science Teachers

[This analysis was performed by Robert L. Park of the American Physical
Society (APS), building on original research performed by televiewing
investigator Tatiana Divens.  It appeared in the APS newsletter WHAT'S
NEW.]

It is arguably the most offensive characterization of a scientist since Dr.
Strangelove, and it takes just 30 seconds.  The scene is a faculty lounge.
Fat-assed substitute teacher hyperventilates over ravishing female in
revealing knit dress. In what passes for science-speak on the tube, she is
explaining how Ultra Slim-Fast does whatever it is they claim it does.
"Boy," lardo exclaims admiringly, "you science teachers know everything."
As jugs wiggles out of the room she turns and purrs, "I'm Phys-Ed, he's
Science," pointing to a revolting imbecile with a bad complexion, huge
spectacles, plastic pocket liner, oversized-bow tie and a bulging
Adam's-apple. In this politically-correct era, scientists may be the only
group left that advertisers can safely ridicule.

[Especially for the target audience that might be conned into buying U S-F  
(not exactly the rocket science group).  What I want to know is how they  
missed having the scientist be fat - perhaps lardo should consult with him?   
-psl]

© 1995 Peter Langston