Fun_People Archive
19 Jul
Bits of Bull No. 331

Date: Wed, 19 Jul 95 19:35:10 -0700
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Bits of Bull No. 331

Excerpted-from: BONG Bull No. 331!

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Newsletter) email to LISTSERV@NETCOM.COM.  In the text say SUBSCRIBE BONG-L.

...

SLUGS.  What a name for a newspaper novel!  But we digress.
     Charles Memminger (71224.113@compuserve.com) of the Honolulu
Star-Bulletin entertained readers recently by revealing the sensation
that runs down an editor's spine on seeing certain slugs on wire copy:
     -- Sky dive.  "These stories actually should be slugged 'sky
death,' because they never, ever include the phrase 'safe landing.'"
     -- Japan subway.  "But they don't have muggers."
     -- Tot.  "Tot is an editor's code word for severely injured child."
     -- Mother/lake.  "These two words together always spell trouble.
See 'tot' entry."
     -- Air show.  "There must be air shows where no one crashes.  Then
again, maybe not."
     -- Guyana space program.  "You know this story is going to involve
several dead monkeys."
     -- Toothpaste recall.  "Four out of five dentists agree that this
slug is guaranteed to produce an involuntary gag reflex in most
readers."
     -- Pit bull.  "I dream of the day when I'll see a story headlined,
'Pit bull saves tot from pet shop fire.'  So far, no such luck.  In the
meantime, I just hope to never, ever see a story slugged 'Pit
bull/genitals.'  Just writing that gave me the willies."
...

© 1995 Peter Langston