Fun_People Archive
9 May
Report from the Pros

Date: Tue,  9 May 95 11:36:02 PDT
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Report from the Pros

Forwarded-by: bostic@CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: dfitzpat@interserv.com

                              o  o  o

In the News: "This just in from Hollywood. Authorities now know why Gary
Busey got fired from his last acting job. He kept snorting his lines." -
- (Alan Ray)

"A new report says 3-5 glasses of wine per day help you live longer.
This news comes coincidentally at the same time as a related story.
Senator Ted Kennedy turns 180 tomorrow." (Ray)

Comedy writer Bob Mills, on Josefina Klag insisting she wasn't really
California Gov. Pete Wilson's former housekeeper.  She just came in
twice a week to launder his corporate campaign contributions, feed the
Republican fat cats he'd taken in, and vacuum all his broken promises."

Adds comedy writer Tyler Horn: "Wilson's now suffering from Huffington's
Disease: saying one thing and doing the other."

Jay Leno, on the $1.50 tariff being proposed by the Clinton Administration
for every person who enters the United States: "It's an insult, and
doesn't say much about our country. Even low-life strip joints charge you
10 bucks to get in.  How about $20 and a two-drink minimum?"

© 1995 Peter Langston