Fun_People Archive
17 Mar
Weirdness #369

Date: Fri, 17 Mar 95 12:47:56 PST
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Weirdness #369

From: WEIRDNUZ.369 (News of the Weird, March 3, 1995)
by: Chuck Shepherd

* Two instances of flying cows were reported recently:  In November, a cow
fell off of a cliff and crashed through the roof of a small house near
Yaounde, Cameroon, landing on Marguerite Nomo's dinner table.  And the
Associated Press reported in November that high winds in Arkansas killed
several cattle by carrying them into treetops. [St. Catharines Standard-
Reuter, 11-18-94; New York Times-AP, 11-28-94]

* An Associated Press report from Ocean Springs, Miss., in January revealed
that restaurant owner Nikone Unknown, 40, acquired that name when he
immigrated to the U. S. from Laos in 1979 and feared revealing his real name
to American officials, who simply listed his last name as "unknown."
Unknown's wife, Ratchanee Unknown, and his son, Nick Unknown, live with him.
[Arlington Journal, Jan95]

* Recent deaths: Gladys Louise White-Black, in Austin, Tex.; Hallelujah Amen
Lee, in Kasilof, Alaska; Kevin C. Tombs, in New York City; lawyer Thomas C.
Angst, 31, of suicide after a Pennsylvania Supreme Court disciplinary board
investigation closed in on him; and Mr. Eleven Hopson, 74, in Columbus,
Ohio, the last survivor of Mary and Thomas Hopson's eleven children. [Austin
American-Statesman, 8-16-94; Anchorage Daily News, Jun94; Newark
Star-Ledger, Nov94; Syracuse Herald-Journal-Knight-Ridder, 10-8-94; Columbus
Dispatch, 9-8- 94]

* Recent births (girls): In York, Pa., Atheist Evolution Rollason (named
because her parents believe that God played no role in her creation); and
in Portland, Ore., Surreal Turquoise Spiral Hawthorne. [Denver Post-AP,
9-8-94; USA Today, 8-15-94]

* Recent business news:  The announcement of Cupid Network Television's home
shopping channel for sexy merchandise was made by president Offer Assis; a
federal grand jury returned an indictment for false corporate-tax returns
against Bert A. Lies, Jr.; and the announcement of Jantzen's new
bust-enhancing swimwear for 1995 was made by the company then-president,
Jay R. Titsworth.  [L. A. Times-AP, 5-29-94; Albuquerque Journal, 8-10-94;
Charlotte Observer, 12-20-94]

* Recent arrests:  On a prostitution charge in Pisgah, Md., Alonda Ann Hoe,
21; on marijuana-smuggling charges in Sarita, Tex., George Washington, 40;
on murder charges in Miami (for a plot in Haiti), Hitler Fleurinord; on
trespassing charges at a Fairfax, Va., high school, Fonzie Agnew, 20.
[Maryland Independent (Waldorf, Md.), 12-28-94; McAllen Monitor-Valley
Morning Star, 12-31-94; New York Times, 11-19-94; Washington Times,
10-20-94]

* Recent sports news:  Rev. Jesse Jackson protested the hiring of a white
man, over a black man, to be head football coach at the University of
Colorado by sending a letter to the school's president, Judith E. N. Albino;
the point guard for the Florida A&M Rattlers basketball team is freshman
Scientific Mapp; and other well-named basketball players researched by the
Providence (R. I.) Phoenix include Mr. Theatric Ishmon (Jackson State), Mr.
Fabulous Flournoy (McNeese State), and high school player Ms.  Summer Erb
(Lakewood, Ohio). [Chronicle of Higher Education, 12-14-94; Southwest Times
Record (Ft. Smith, Ark.), 12-21-94; Providence Phoenix, 11-18-94]

Copyright 1995, Universal Press Syndicate.  All rights reserved.
Released for the entertainment of readers.  No commercial use may
be made of the material or of the name News of the Weird.

© 1995 Peter Langston