Fun_People Archive
24 Jan
Some Yucks
Date: Tue, 24 Jan 95 02:04:18 PST
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Some Yucks
Forwarded-by: spaf@cs.purdue.edu (Gene "Chief Yuckster" Spafford)
Via: Yucks Digest V5 #3
From: REX_BLACK@ACM.ORG
Subject: and they say the Usenet is a mindless waste of time...
This was taken from today's _USA Today_. As our hero Dave Barry would
say, I am _not_ making this up:
[TV] Talk Shows
Donahue: Parents of killers.
Oprah Winfrey: Failed 911 calls.
Susan Powter: Breast implants
Jerry Springer: Indecisive lovers.
Rolonda: Teens dating older men.
Ricki Lake: Relationships harmed by substance abuse [como se no?]
Geraldo: Women who sleep with married men.
Maury Povich: Twins with eating disorders.
Sally Jesse Raphael: Philanderers return to their wives.
Montel Williams: Pregnant women who drink and use drugs.
I assume that this is a fairly representative line up, but maybe it's more
cerebral than usual...
[Hmm, anyone appearing on several of the shows at once? --spaf]
------------------------------------------------------------
Forwarded-by: lda@research.att.com
Forwarded-by: alan@qsss08.eq.gs.com (Alan Buckwalter - x5586)
By now you've heard of the new "social interface" known as "Bob" that
Microsoft has brought out to make its Windows system easier to use for the
computer novice. What you might not know is that numerous other "social
interfaces" are on their way:
Robert - IBM's version of Bob for the "corporate" user.
Bobby - Apple's even more informal Bob.
Bobbit - for those computers that don't have a hard drive.
Booboo - for Pentiums.
Boob - insulting interface for masochistic users.
Blob - for Windows NT users.
Barbara - for those who prefer a more feminine interface.
Roberto - for Hispanic users
Snob - for wealthy users
Slob - for teenage users
------------------------------
From: chwalker@ucs.indiana.edu
Subject: capricorn capers
My life changed this morning. I became a believer
in astrology, after all these years of contemptuous
skepticism.
I had the tv on while I was getting ready for work,
and the news channel mentioned the celebrity
birthdays for today (1/12): Russ Limbaugh and
Howard Stern. That is just too much of a coincidence
for me to handle.
Advice to anybody in the ninth month of pregnancy:
keep your legs crossed today. Tie them together, if
necessary. You don't want to mess with karma like
that, in your family.
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Forwarded-by: (null)
Subject: Did I tell you that I told you?
In the San Francisco Chronicle Tuesday August 30, 1994
Excerpts from Nanette Asimov's article
"Board Meets in Secret to See If It Can"
The California State Board of Education will meet in secret next week to
decide it may meet in secret. No one is saying what the meeting is about.
That, according to a school board spokesman, is a secret.
Secret meetings by public agencies are common. Secret meetings about secret
meetings, athough legal, are less common. Pulic announcements about secret
meetings about secret meetings are required by law.
It's all explained in Govenment Code section 11126(q)(2)(a).
And Government Code Section 11126(q)(2)(a) is explained in "Supplemental
Agenda Notice #2", which the board mailed out this week.
"The California State Board of Education reserves the right to meet in
closed session pursuant to Government Code Section 11126(q)(2)(a) to
determine whether facts and circumstances authorize it to meed in closed
session pusuant to Government Code Section 11126(q)(2)(a)", said the
announcement.
------------------------------------------------------------
Forwarded-by: "Trevor Kirby" <Trevor.Kirby@newcastle.ac.uk>
culled off alt.tastless (poster weberm@freenet.scri.fsu.edu (Mike Weber))
A woman holding her cat hostage in a grocery store with a knife was
shot and killed by Gresham police.
Testimony durinfg a Santa Ana murder was postponed when a juror glued
her eyes shut during a break. Lynda Appling mistakenly put fingernail
glue in her eye.
[Trial by your peers? Hmmm, well, I guess they're the same people that vote,
aren't they? -psl]
© 1995 Peter Langston