Fun_People Archive
10 Jan
Emily Post Daemon

Date: Tue, 10 Jan 95 14:30:57 PST
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Emily Post Daemon

Forwarded-by: bostic@CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: kole@hydra.convex.com (John P. Kole)

From: steele@convex.com (Bruce W. Steele)

Dear Net-Mail User:  

Your mailbox has just been rifled by EmilyPost, an autonomous
courtesy-worm chain program released in October 2036 by an anonymous
group of net subscribers in western Alaska.

	[ - ref: sequestered confession 592864 =2376298.98634, 
	deposited with Bank Leumi 10/23/36:20:34:21.   
	Expiration-disclosuer 10 years.

Under the civil disobedience sections of the Charter of Rio, we accept
in advance the fines and penalties that will come due when our
confession is released in 2046.  However we feel that's a small price
to pay for the message brought to you by EmilyPost.

In brief, dear friend, you are not a very polite person.  EmilyPost's
synatax analysis subroutines show that a very high fraction of your
net exchanges are heated, vituperative, even obscene.

Of course you enjoy free speach.  But EmilyPost has been designed by
people who are concerned about the recent trend toward excessive
nastiness in some parts of the net.  EmilyPost homes in on folks like
you and begins by asking them to please consider the advantages of
politeness.

For one thing, your credibility ratings would rise.  (EmilyPost 
has checked your favorite bulletin boards, and finds your ratings 
aren't high at all.  Nobody is listening to you!)  Moreover,
consider that courtesy can foster calm reason, turning shrill
antagonism into useful debate and even consensus.

We suggest introducing an automatic delay to your mail system.
Communications are so fast these days, people seldom stop and think.
Some net users act like mental patients who shout out anything that
comes to mind, rather than as functioning citizens with the human
gift of tact.

If you wish, you may use one of the public-domain delay programs
included in this version of EmilyPost, free of charge.

Of course, should you insist on continuing as before, disseminating
nastiness in all directions, we have equipped EmilyPost with
other options you'll soon find out about.

© 1995 Peter Langston