Fun_People Archive
9 Dec
Liberalism as Birth Defect

Date: Fri,  9 Dec 94 16:06:28 PST
To: Fun_People
Subject: Liberalism as Birth Defect

From: aggroup.com!mgr@bellcore.bellcore.com (Mike Russell)

The following "Lazlo Toth" mail was sent by me to Newt G.
(georgia6@hr.house.gov) about a week ago.  I had hoped to have his
response by now, but I assume he's a bit backlogged what with being
approved as speaker and all...

Dear Mr. Gingrich,

I have a theory that liberal tendencies are hereditary, and have produced
a short treatise entitled "Liberalism as Birth Defect".   It is in the
spirit of "The Bell Curve" (hurray - we know it's real message!).

In my treatise race is replaced by educational level divided by
salary (the beatnik quotient or "BQ"), and IQ is replaced by a numeric
quotient inversely related to liberalness (the politcal IQ, or "PIQ").
PIQ is standardized by putting yourself - may I call you Newt  - in
the middle with a PIQ of 100.

For various reasons, and in keeping with the spirit of "The Bell Curve"
I rejected the usual practice of normalizing to the mean, and used
square roots instead of actual correlation values in order to make certain
conclusions more distinct.

The results are startling on several fronts. Jesse Helms has a PIQ of
over 220, super-genius, and Ted Kennedy comes out at sub-mongoloid level.

BQ is very tightly correlated with PIQ, which forms the crux of my
treatise.  However I think you get the idea and will not go into details
here and now.

I will be in Washington the weekend of Dec 25th and thought we might get
together while the liberals are home with their "families" (hah!) and
have a power breakfast.

Conservatively Yours,

          Michael Russell.

PS - can you send me a uuencoded TIFF of yourself, perhaps with an autograph?

© 1994 Peter Langston