Fun_People Archive
2 Nov
We need a new God.

Date: Wed,  2 Nov 94 14:34:24 PST
To: Fun_People
Subject: We need a new God.

Forwarded-by: bostic@CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: stripes@uunet.uu.net (Josh Osborne)

     Look around you.  Nothing works.  Government is a mess; 
private enterprise is no better; everything takes longer and costs more;
and even our bodies are prey to new and scarier diseases.  Some of us have
tried to deal with this by worshipping Discordia, Goddess of Disorder and
Confusion, but no sooner do we think we can depend upon Chaos than order
breaks out.
     In times like these, we need a new God, one who is used to a world
in which nothing works.  Such a God is

	       WILE E. COYOTE

A Native American trickster figure brought up to date by 20th century
techniques, Wile E. is used to dealing with disorder.  Wile E. represents
the spirit of invention, ever creating new strategies to face a world that
frustrates all of our old plans.  He is the true neophile, one who, as
St. Hagbard says, invents and tries a dozen new solutions in the time it
takes a neophobe to chicken out of one.
     It might appear that Wile E. is a failure, since in the movies none
of his schemes ever work.  But he keeps trying.  Like Icarus, he falls
from the sky when his inventions fail, but in true dying-god fashion, He
always rises again.
     (It has also been alleged that we are being denied the true
conclusion of Wile E.'s quest, which is told in the long- suppressed final
episode, "Beep-Beep Yurass.").
     Besides, the whole thing is an allegory.  ACME, for instance, with
its instruments of killing and predation that never work properly, is an
obvious symbol for Defense Contractors.  Further explanations will be
provided to those sending in enough money.
     This religion has been created by a Discordian Pope (Guilty I), and
is thus a Genuine Discordian Heresy. Violators will be excommunicated,
but we are also willing to extend amnesty to innocent dupes who have
served the cause of Evil, such as Bo Diddley and Jr. Walker with their
"Road Runner" songs, and worldcon committees calling themselves ACME.
     For further information, contact

	       The Church of the SuperGenius

c/o Arthur D. Hlavaty, 206 Valentine St., Yonkers, NY 10704-1814.
    hlavaty@panix.com.

© 1994 Peter Langston