Fun_People Archive
31 Oct
Even more SMJ (Stupid Men Jokes)

Date: Mon, 31 Oct 94 15:41:47 PST
To: Fun_People
Subject: Even more SMJ (Stupid Men Jokes)

[Hey!  I resemble that remark...  -psl]

Forwarded-by: bostic@CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: Ray Davis <rdavis@masschaos.de.convex.com>
Forwarded-By: mpropper@masschaos.de.convex.com
Forwarded-By: bjchrist@c1east.convex.com
Forwarded-By: cfwilli@relay.nswc.navy.mil

What's the world's thinnest book in the world?
What men know about women.

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One...Men will screw anything.

How does a man take a bubble bath?
He eats beans for dinner.

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have balls to scratch.

What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.

How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
He's breathing.

What's the difference between men and government bonds?
Bonds [eventually] mature [and make money].

How do you save a man from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.

What do men and beer bottles have in common?
They are both empty from the neck up.

How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?

How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
We don't know -- it's never been done before.

How are men and parking places alike?
The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left
    are handicapped.

What's a man's idea of helping with the housework?
Lifting his legs so you can vacuum.

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.

What does a man consider a seven course dinner?
A hot dog and a six pack of beer.

Do you know why there is a hole in a man's penis?
So he can get air to his brain.

© 1994 Peter Langston