Fun_People Archive
24 Jun
Bumper Stickers Experiment

Date: Fri, 24 Jun 94 13:47:14 PDT
To: Fun_People
Subject: Bumper Stickers Experiment

From: dz@seanews.akita.com (John S. Ullman)
     
Bumper sticker - albeit a little dated:  I Fondle It
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From: Gregg Porter <gporter@u.washington.edu>

... I particularly like the bumper sticker that says:
I don't care what your other car is or what you'd rather be doing!
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From: lou@orange.metron.com (Lou Katz)

Bumper stickers: Visualize Whorled Peas
		Legalize Lutefisk
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From: Greg Maass <71043.2345@CompuServe.COM>

These are context specific,as they were spotted at the recent grateful
dead shows. Nevertheless, you asked....

(all are bumper stickers)

"One nuclear family can ruin your whole life"

"If youre not wasted, the day is"

"I got called for Jerry duty"
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From: LISSY@AppleLink.Apple.COM (Abraham, Lisanne)

My favorite bumper sticker:
 
Dyslexics of the world untie!
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From: Dave@yost.com (Dave Yost)

Question Reality

{ honk } (PostScript) [heart] if
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From: <REEDZSTEIN@aol.com>

Ex-lovers make great speed bumps
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From: robert@rockmore.com (Robert D. Poor)

My all time favorite bumper sticker read: "Do it Once.  Do it Right.  Hire a
Licensed Contractor."  But the bumper sticker was stuck on upside down.
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From: cate3@netcom.com (Henry Cate)

Saw this sticker on the lefthand side of a bumper on the 405 freeway during
Friday afternoon rush hour:
	"I LOVE TO DRIVE
	     THE 405"
Then, a few seconds later, as I'm wondering what bizarre kind of person would
actually enjoy driving the 405 during rush hour, I notice another bumpersticker
on the righthand side:
	"I ALSO LOVE TO BANG
	 MY HEAD WITH BRICKS"
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From: cate3@netcom.com (Henry Cate)

BUREAUCRACY:  a method for transforming energy into solid waste.
XEROX: Your BUREAUCRACY is our business.
LEMMINGS DON'T GROW OLDER, THEY JUST DIE
BE REALISTIC: Plan for a miracle
LOVE THY NEIGHBOR, TUNE THY PIANO

Real People Wear Fake Furs.
You have a seatbelt; has it hugged you today?
Speed Pays -- the doctor, the hospital, the mortuary.
Illiterate?  Write for free help.
MY  OTHER  CAR  IS  A  REAL  OTA

Subject: Bumper sticker du jour
ONE SOVIET INVASION CAN RUIN YOUR WHOLE DAY
Seen on a Saab:     Key Mow
Seen near the Stanford Linear Accelerator:  
	Beware of Quantum Ducks, Quark! Quark!
Support mental health, or I'll kill you!

Help Stamp Out Intolerance!
Save an alligator; shoot a preppi
I'm not FOR apathy and I'm not AGAINST it.
Have you hugged your money today?
I'VE BEEN TO THE SHOP THAT SELLS BUMPER STICKERS

Prosperity is our God given right
SAVE THE CHOCOLATE MOOSE!
Archaeologists will date any old thing.
I refuse to participate in the RECESSION
DANGER!  I drive like you do.

I BRAKE FOR BRICK WALLS
IF U [heart] NY GO BACK!
JazzerSleep
FIGHT ORGANIZED CRIME, STAMP OUT THE IRS
I cannot be fired. Slaves have to be sold

ESCHEW OBFUSCATION
The highway of life is always under construction
DOES THE NAME PAVLOV RING A BELL?
WELCOME TO LOS ANGELES NOW GO HOME
DO LOS ANGELES A FAVOR. WHEN YOU LEAVE, TAKE SOMEONE WITH YOU. 

I'm so poor, I can't even pay attention!
I love, I owe, so off to work I go.
Illiterate? Write for free information.
WARP 6 A Law We Can Live With
The San Diego Freeway.... Official Parking Lot of the 1984 Olympics!

HAVE YOU HARRASED A TOURIST TODAY?
THE  TROUBLE  WITH POLITICAL JOKES IS THEY  GET ELECTED.
PASS WITH CARE, DRIVER CHEWING TOBACCO
KISSING A SMOKER IS LIKE LICKING AN ASHTRAY

GOD'S LAST NAME ISN'T DAMMIT!
WHEN I GROW UP, I WANT TO BE A PORSCHE
HONK IF YOU'RE CUTE, RICH, & LOVE HORSES
LEAVE ME ALONE I'M HAVING A CRISIS
THE BEST THING TO SPEND ON YOUR CHILDREN IS TIME

I HATE BUMPER STICKERS
3 GOOD THINGS ABOUT SCHOOL: JUNE, JULY, AUGUST
SUPPORT YOUR RIGHT TO ARM BEARS!
Also seen: IBM PC's eat Apples!
IGNORE APATHY

Seen on a plummer's truck:
   In my business, a flush beats a full house.
On a well worn, ca 1967 Volkswagen:
   Driver Carries No Cash

© 1994 Peter Langston