Fun_People Archive
16 Jun
Laws of the Universe

Date: Thu, 16 Jun 94 13:56:59 PDT
To: Fun_People
Subject: Laws of the Universe

Forwarded-by: cate3@netcom.com (Henry Cate)
____________________________________________________________________________

From: the forthcoming book "Murphy's Son-In-Laws" [Sons-In-Law? -psl],
By: Arthur Bloch

O'Reilly's Law of the Kitchen
	Cleanliness is next to impossible 

Lieberman's Law
	Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter, because nobody listens.

Denniston's Law
	Virtue is its own punishment.

Gold's Law:
	If the shoe fits, it's ugly

Conway's Law
	In any organization, there will always be one person who knows what's
	going on.  This person must be fired.

Green's Law of Debate
	Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.

Stewart's law of Retroaction
	It's easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission.

Harrison's Postulate
	For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

Hanlon's razor
	Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by
	stupidity.

Muir's Law
	When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to
	everything else in the universe.

First Rule of History
	History doesn't repeat itself - Historians merely repeat each other.

Finster's Law
	A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Oliver's Law of Location
	No matter where you go, there you are.

Lynch's Law
	When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.

Glyme's Formula for Success
	The secret to success is sincerity.  Once you can fake that, you've
	got it made.

Mason's First Law of Synergism
	On the one day you'd sell your soul for something, souls are a glut.

The Sausage Principle
	People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch
	either one being made.
____________________________________________________________________________

From: "1001 Logical Laws, Accurate Axioms, Profound Principles, Trusty
	Truisms, Homey Homilies, Colorful Corollaries, Quotable Quotes,
	and Rambunctious Ruminations For All Walks of Life,"
By: John Peers, (who is also president of Logical Machine Corporation)

	A few brief excerpts:

The Gordian Maxim
	If a string has one end, it has another.

Kramer's Law
	You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

Brewer's Observation
	No good deed goes unpunished.

Jacquin's Postulate
	No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature
	is in session.

Hoare's Law
	Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out.

Ralph's Observation
	It is a mistake to let any mechanical object realise that you are
	in a hurry.

Meade's Maxim
	Always remember that you are absolutely unique, just like everyone
	else.

© 1994 Peter Langston