Fun_People Archive
7 Jun
Boy, you're going to need a big bluebook!

Date: Tue,  7 Jun 94 18:05:13 PDT
To: Fun_People
Subject: Boy, you're going to need a big bluebook!

[Here it is, the Humanities 110 final exam that was in use at Reed College when
I went there.  Honest!  -psl]

Forwarded-by: "REEDZSTEIN" <REEDZSTEIN@aol.com>

                            FINAL EXAMINATION
Instructions:  Read each question carefully.  Answer each question.  Time
limit--4 hours.  Begin immediately

MUSIC: Write a piano concerto.  Orchestrate and perform it with flute & drum.
You will find a piano under your seat.

BIOLOGY: Create Life.  Estimate the difference in subsequent human culture if
this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special
attention to its probable efect on the English parliamentary system.  Prove
your thesis.

MEDICINE:  You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a
bottle of Scotch.  Remove your appendix.  Do not suture until your work has
been inspected.  You have 15 minutes.

HEALTH:  Count the number of cells in your right thumb, to the nearest 100
cells.  100x microscopes will be provided for your convenience.

ART HISTORY:  Paint a full-scale mural depicting the history of science on
the auditorium ceiling, utilizing natural dyes.  You may make your own from
any of the berries, leaves, or bark on the football field.  Use the pogo
stick alongside your chair to reach the ceiling.

LANGUAGES:  2500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom.  Calm
them.  You may use any ancient language except, Latin, Greek, or Hebrew.

PSYCHOLOGY:  Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional
stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the
following:  Alexander of Apfrodasias, Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, and
Hammurabi.  Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work,
making appropriate references.  It is not necessary to translate.

SOCIOLOGY:  Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end
of the world.  Construct an experiment to test your theory.

MANAGEMENT SCIENCE:  Define Management.  Define Science.  How do they relate?
Design an algorithm to optomize all managerial decisions.  Assuming an 1130
CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm, design
the communications interface and all necessary control programs.

ENGINEERING:  The dissasembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed
in a box on your desk.  You will also have an instruction manual, printed in
Swahili.  In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room.
Take whatever action you feel appropriate.  Be prepared to justify your
decision.

POLITICAL SCIENCE:  There is a red telephone on the desk beside you; start
WWIII.  Report on its sociopolitical effects, if any.

EPISTEMOLOGY:  Take a position for or against truth.  Prove the validity of
your position.

PHILOSOPHY:  Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its
signifcance.  Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

GENERAL KNOWLEDGE:  Describe in detail.  Be objective and specific.

EXTRA CREDIT:  Define the universe.  Give three examples.

© 1994 Peter Langston