Fun_People Archive
2 Jun
Musician Jokes

Date: Thu,  2 Jun 94 18:06:09 PDT
To: Fun_People
Subject: Musician Jokes

[A few stories from a very cool book called  "Jazz Anecdotes" by jazz writer
(and bassist) Bill Crow.  -psl]


    George Wettling was driving back to New York through the Holland Tunnel
early one morning after a gig in New Jersey.  Finding no other cars in the
tunnel at that hour, he stepped down a little too hard on the gas.  His speed
attracted the attention of one of the tunnel guards, who phoned ahead to the
toll booth, where George was flagged down by a Port Authority cop.
    "What's the big idea?" barked the cop.  "You were doing sixty through the
tunnel!"  George smiled apologetically.  "Gee, officer. I saw a sign in there
that said 'Keep 45 feet apart' and I was just trying to catch up with the guy
in front of me!"


    Trumpeter Johnny Best saw a sign at the bar of a Holiday Inn where the Bob
Crosby band was staying: HAPPY HOUR - ALL YOU CAN DRINK FOR A DOLLAR.  Johnny
told the bartender, "Give me two dollars' worth."


    One night as Gene Quill was leaving the bandstand at Birdland, a young
self-appointed critic accosted him.
    "All you're doing is playing just like Charlie Parker," he accused.  Gene
held out his saxophone.  "Here," he said, "_you_ play just like Charlie Parker!"


    Joe Lopes was having a little difficulty at a New York City bank.  He
hadn't filled out a form correctly, and the lady who pointed out the error made
an impatient remark that Joe took as a reflection on his intelligence.
    "Hey," Joe Bristled, "if you're so smart, what's a C-seventh?"
    "C, E, G, B-flat," she replied.


From: Jazz Anecdotes by Bill Crow, Oxford University Press, 1990
	ISBN 0-19-507133-6

© 1994 Peter Langston