Fun_People Archive
19 May
THE BALLAD OF THE BOBBIT HILLBILLIES

Date: Thu, 19 May 94 18:02:37 PDT
To: Fun_People
Subject: THE BALLAD OF THE BOBBIT HILLBILLIES

Forwarded-by: bostic@vangogh.CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: Angela Marie Thomas <angela@uss.tandem.com>
Forwarded-by: jimp@cpd.tandem.com

	      THE BALLAD OF THE BOBBIT HILLBILLIES

  Here's a little story of a man named John
  A poor ex-Marine (with a little fraction gone)
  It seems one night after gettin' with the wife
  She lopped off his schlong with the swipe of a knife
  (Penis, that is)
  (Rodeoed, fillet-ioed)

  Well the next thing you know there's a Ginsu by his side
  And Lorena's in the car takin' Willie for a ride
  She soon got tired of her purple-headed friend
  And tossed him out the window as she rounded out a bend
  (Curve, that is)
  (Pricker shrubs, wheel hubs)

  She went to the cops and confessed to the attack
  And they called out the hounds just to get his weenie back
  They sniffed and they barked, then they pointed "over there"
  To John Wayne's henry that was wavin' in the air
  (Found, that is)
  (By a fence, evidence)

  Now peter and John couldn't stay apart too long
  So a dick-doc said, "Hey! I can fix your dong"
  "A needle and a thread's just the thing you're gonna need"
  Then the world held it's breath 'till they heard that John peed.
  (Wizzed, that is)
  (Stitched seam, straight stream)

  Well he healed, and he hardened, and he took his case to court
  With a cock-eyed lawyer (since his assets came up short)
  They cleared her of assault, and acquitted him of rape
  And his pecker was the only one they didn't show on tape
  (Video, that is)

© 1994 Peter Langston