Fun_People Archive
21 Apr
Science Lesson

Date: Thu, 21 Apr 94 12:35:14 PDT
To: Fun_People
Subject: Science Lesson

Forwarded-by: bostic@vangogh.CS.Berkeley.EDU (Keith Bostic)
Forwarded-by: David Boyce <dave@advent.demon.co.uk>
Forwarded-by: Private Eye:
From: The Times of Swaziland, 4/12/93

"There's no doubt about it, it was another case of likhubalo",
Inspector Mdluli of the Simunye police force informed reporters.
"They looked like a three-headed octopus. I have never seen
anything like it."

He explained what he had discovered after being called to a house in
Lusoti on Monday morning. "The unnamed threesome were locked together
in coitus, and unable to move. The woman confessed to me that, when her
husband had gone away on business on Friday, she had invited her lover
and his friend into the house. But, after simultaneous vaginal and anal
penetration, they found themselves locked together in what is called a
"double dog's knot", with both men quite unable to withdraw. For three
days they lay there helplessly, until a neighbour heard their cries for
help and entered the room.  She laughed so much it took her an hour to
collect herself and phone for help. I imediately realised the husband
must have been to a witch doctor and given likhubalo root to his wife.
Men often do this if they think their wives are unfaithful, and it's
very effective, because any man other than her husband gets stuck fast.

"When the husband returned, he eventually agreed to release the two men
in the traditional way, by making them all beg for mercy, ritually
forgiving them, and then showing his wife a padlock and key. When the
padlock opened up, so did she. It's basic science, really."

© 1994 Peter Langston