Fun_People Archive
11 Apr
I see London, I see France ...

Date: Mon, 11 Apr 94 13:58:08 PDT
To: Fun_People
Subject: I see London, I see France ...

Forwarded-by: joeha@microsoft.com
Forwarded-by: WhiteBoard News for April 07, 1994

Portland, Oregon:

Perhaps Portlanders didn't see London or France, but
they DID see the Oregon Symphony's new underpants.

Thirty symphony orchestra musicians took a break from
rehearsal Wednesday morning to sit down to breakfast
and briefs in the lobby of the Arlene Schnitzer Concert
Hall -- all in the name of a marketing survey known as
the Fruit of the Loom Comfort Challenge.

The company gives samples of its new men's briefs to
folks who spend much of the day sitting.  The men are
asked to fill out a, uh, brief questionnaire after a
week of sitting down on the job.  Last year it was taxi
and bus drivers in 14 cities; this year, it's musicians
from eight symphony orchestras.

Few in the lobby could have been accused of stuffiness
amongst the orchestra members clutching packages of
briefs and plates of pastries, especially stage manager
Bruce Chaddock, who pulled on a pair of cotton briefs
over his black formal trousers and mugged for the
crowd.  "They are surprisingly comfortable," he
reported.

"This means an extra week of not having to do laundry,"
said Joe Berger, chairman of the orchestra committee
who quickly succumbed to the blandishments of free
underwear.  "Free underwear is hard for any
professional to resist."

Not all was sweet harmony, though.  Two major groups of
underwear customers faced blatant discrimination
Wednesday.  The company did not offer boxer shorts as
part of the promotion, nor were women included.

"I'm disappointed," said violist Anna Schaum.  She and
a small group of women musicians surveyed the goings-on
from a vantage point next to the coffee urns.  "I guess
they're saying that men's butts are more important."

"I guess we'll have to get Victoria's Secret to sponsor
us," said violinist Clarisse Atcherson.

© 1994 Peter Langston