Fun_People Archive
1 Feb
The NorthWest Corner: The Tonya Harding Quiz

Date: Tue,  1 Feb 94 14:14:21 PST
To: Fun_People
Subject: The NorthWest Corner: The Tonya Harding Quiz

 From: info.Berkeley.EDU!lanih (J. Lani Herrmann)
 From: witteman (Mark Witteman)
 From: S.F. Chronicle (without permission).

>     TAKE THE TONYA QUIZ; GUESS THE GUARD'S IQ -- Tom Fitzgerald

> If you haven't been keeping up with the Harding-Kerrigan affair, you
> may have trouble holding up your end of the conversation at the office
> water cooler.  This quiz, courtesy of Rocky Mountain News columnist
> Bob Kravitz, will tell you how you're doing.
> 1.  The most important piece of equipment a figure skater can carry is:
>     a) a skate sharpener
>     b) a makeup kit
>     c) The Club
> 2.  Which of the following has a higher IQ than the bodyguard:
>     a) a Chia Pet
>     b) the Clapper
>     c) Nancy Kerrigan
>     d) all of the above
> 3.  The Gillooly Gang would have been better off:
>     a) simply tying Kerrigan's laces together
>     b) inserting subliminal Satanic verses into her music
>     c) ripping off her rouge
>     d) going to Buffalo and taking the Bills out before they could
>        return to the Super Bowl
> 4.  If it's Monday, Harding and Jeff Gillooly must be:
>     a) married
>     b) divorced
>     c) seeking mutual restraining orders
>     d) planning a really long trip to Ecuador
> * "Now, I don't know as much as Dick Button when it comes to figure
>   skating," says Kravitz, "but do they subtract points if you do your
>   double Salchows while wearing handcuffs?"
> * "I heard Tonya Harding is calling herself the Charles Barkley of
>   figure skating," says Charles Barkley.  "I was going to sue her for
>   defamation of character, but then I realized I have no character."
> * From David Letterman:  "Because of the pressure that Attorney
>   General Janet Reno has been putting on the networks to cut down on
>   the violence on TV, today CBS announced that they were dropping
>   figure skating."

© 1994 Peter Langston