Fun_People Archive
9 Nov
The Apple Newton & Serious Bandwidth

Date: Tue,  9 Nov 93 00:51:14 PST
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Apple Newton & Serious Bandwidth

[Have you experimented with an Apple Newton yet?  Well, I haven't, so I was
interested to hear of other people's experiences with it.  At the recent
Hacker's conference I collected both a short and a long Newton anecdote.
    The short anecdote involves the preparation of some promotion for or with
the publisher Random House, during which the publisher (or some agent thereof)
tried entering "Random House" only to get "Condom Nose" recognized.
    The long anecdote consists of the new lyric poem generated by entering
Lewis Carroll's poem Jabberwocky from "Through The Looking Glass" into the
Newton.  Of course, to get the full effect you should really see the faraway
look in Talin's eye as he recites it, but as a poor second I'll include a
comment from Lewis Carroll (about Alice) at the end that might easily have been
written about the Newton.  -psl]


        Notes from Talin: Nonsense words were each written three times to get
the most consistent match. The result makes an interesting kind of sense,
almost metaphorical at times.

		TABLESPOONS

	Teas Willis, and the sticky tours
	Did gym and Gibbs in the wake.
	All mimes were the borrowers,
	And the moderate Belgrade.
	"Beware the tablespoon my son,
	The teeth that bite, the Claus that catch.
	Beware the Subjects bird, and shred
	The serious Bandwidth!"
	He took his Verbal sword in hand:
	Long time the monitors fog he sought,
	So rested he by the Tumbled tree,
	And stood a while in thought.
	And as in selfish thought he stood,
	The tablespoon, with eyes of Flame,
	Came stifling through the trigger wood,
	And troubled as it came!
	One, two! One, two! And through and though,
	The Verbal blade went thicker shade.
	He left it dead, and with its head,
	He went gambling back.
	"And host Thai slash the tablespoon?
	Come to my arms my bearish boy.
	Oh various day! Cartoon! Cathay!"
	He charted in his joy.
	Teas Willis, and the sticky tours
	Did gym and Gibbs in the wake.
	All mimes were the borrowers,
	And the moderate Belgrade.

Lewis Carrol's JABBERWOCKY as "recognized" by the Apple Newton, (c) 1993
Robert McNally.  Permission is granted to reproduce this if the copyright
remains intact.

["It seems very pretty," she said when she had finished it, "but it's rather
hard to understand!" (You see she didn't like to confess even to herself, that
she couldn't make it out at all.)  --Lewis Carroll]

© 1993 Peter Langston