Fun_People Archive
9 Oct
An oldie but a goodie...

Date: Sat,  9 Oct 93 12:42:47 PDT
To: Fun_People
Subject: An oldie but a goodie...

 From: vangogh.CS.Berkeley.EDU!bostic (Keith Bostic)

So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor,
I mean he's a pistol. He can swear for five minutes straight without
repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative
type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.

One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat,
shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird
mad and he swears more than ever.

Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK for you." and locks the bird in a
kitchen cabinet.

This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the
guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective
that would make a veteran sailor blush.

At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.

For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws
and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets _very_ quiet.

At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may
be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens
up the freezer door.

The bird calmly climbs onto the man's out-stretched arm and says, "Awfully
sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary
from now on."

The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come
over the parrot.

Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"

© 1993 Peter Langston