Fun_People Archive
9 Sep
The Giamatti Proclamation and the end of the Millennium

Date: Thu,  9 Sep 93 18:17:55 PDT
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Giamatti Proclamation and the end of the Millennium

 From: peter hall <PHALL@YaleVM.YCC.Yale.Edu>

Perhaps only those intimately familiar with Yale's pretentions will find this
amusing -- though those of you sensitive to organizational technologies of
foolishness may also get a buzz off of it. . . .

 From: YALE BULLETIN AND CALENDAR, September 6, 1993

              THE RESTORATION OF PARADISE

     On July 1, the day that he took office as Yale's 22nd president, Richard
C. Levin sent the following message to members of the Yale community via the
campus' electronic mail system:

     On July 1, 1978, A Bartlett Giamatti issued the first memorandum of his
Presidency: "In order to repair what Milton called the ruin of our grand
parents, I wish to announce that henceforth, as a matter of University policy,
evil is abolished and paradise is restored.  I trust all of us will do
whatever possible to achieve this policy objective."

     I have appointed a committee, chaired by the University Chaplain, to
investigate why the Giamatti Proclamation failed to produced the intended
result.  I have asked the committee to study the feasibility of abolishing
evil and to develop a strategic plan for the restoration of paradise.  The
committee will present its findings to the University Budget Committee, which
will determine whether paradise can be restored without further cuts in
academic programs and support services.  Before any action is taken, I assure
you that there will be opportunity for full discussion by the appropriate
faculties, the Yale College Council, the Graduate and Professional Student
Senate, the Association of Yale Alumni, Locals 34 and 35, and the New York
Times.  I expect to transmit recommendations to the Yale Corporation before
the end of the millennium.

© 1993 Peter Langston