Fun_People Archive
5 Sep
Checking out the news files...

Date: Sun,  5 Sep 93 20:25:13 PDT
To: Fun_People
Subject: Checking out the news files...

 From: vangogh.CS.Berkeley.EDU!bostic (Keith Bostic)
 From: WEIRDNUZ.282 (News of the Weird, July 2, 1993)
 From: Chuck Shepherd

[First, from the Are-Machines-Macho? file... -psl]
* A June issue of the British Medical Journal reported that Finnish men,
alone among the world's men, had not shown a decline in their sperm count
over the last 50 years.  At 114 million sperm per milliliter, the Finnish
count remains almost twice as high as the worldwide average.  Scientists
suspect the higher counts are due to Finland's relatively pollution-free
environmental.
[Roanoke Times & World News-AP, June93]

[Then, from the Not-So-Funny file... -psl]
* At a United Nations conference in March, farmers from Somalia complained
that the massive U. N. food shipments to that country were driving them out
of business.  Said one Somali farmer, "The poor farmer . . . cannot [make
the sales] to cover his costs.  This will kill him."
[Charleston Post & Courier-AP, 3-13-93]

[And from the Why-Johnny-Can't-Read file... -psl]
* The Washington Post reported that among the errors made by D. C.
school administrators quizzing students in a recent school system
contest on current affairs were questions about the Russian novelist
Alexander "Solsanita," the former Secretary-General of the United Nations
"Java Parade da Cooler," and the former U. S. "Senator" Barbara Jordan (who
was a Representative).  Said one of the quizmasters, "We are all human."
[Columbus Dispatch-Washington Post, May93]

[Then from the Why-Is-The-Cure-Rate-For-TB-So-Low-In-NYC? file... -psl]
* Former President Jimmy Carter persuaded singer Michael Jackson to stage a
concert in Atlanta in May to encourage children to get vaccinations.  Carter
said the immunization rate for children under age 5 in Atlanta is 50%,
compared to about 80% in Bangladesh.
[Washington Times, 2-17-93]

[And finally, from our ever-popular Stupid-Criminal-Tricks file... -psl]
* In June, Richard Simonetti, 17, & George Montenez, 21, of Brooklyn, N.Y.,
were arrested in Brooklyn, Conn., and charged with a robbery that had taken
place earlier in the evening.  According to Connecticut state police, the
men had committed the robbery in Bridgeport, about 50 miles from Brooklyn,
N.Y., and had intended to drive home.  However, they became confused and
drove over 100 miles in the wrong direction on the interstate highway.  When
they saw the sign for "Brooklyn," they exited, thinking they were home,
became more confused, tried to force a motorist to help them, and were
captured.
[Willimantic, Conn., Chronicle, 6-12-93]

© 1993 Peter Langston