Fun_People Archive
15 May
BOFH #2

Date: Sat, 15 May 93 11:16:12 PDT
To: Fun_People
Subject: BOFH #2

 From: [[forwards nulled and voided]]

                      BASTARD OPERATOR FROM HELL #2

I'm sitting at the desk, playing x-tank, when some thoughtless bastard rings
me on the phone.  I pick it up.

"Hello?" I say.
"Who is this?" they say.
"It's me I think" I say, having been through a telephone skills course.
"Me Who?"
"Is this like a knock knock joke?" I say, trying anything to save myself
having to end this game.

Too LATE!  I get killed.  Now I'm pissed!

"What can I do for you?" I ask pleasantly - (one of the key warning signs).

"Um, I want to know if we have a particular software package.."

"Which package is that?"

"Uh, B-A-S-I-C it's called."

>clickety clickety d-e-l b-a-s-i-c.e-x-e<

"Um no, we don't have that.  We used to though.."

"oh.  Oh well, the other thing I wanted to know was, could the contents of
my account be copied to tape so I'll have a permanent copy to save at home
in case the worst happens.."

"The worst?"

"Well, like they get deleted or something..."

"DELETED!  Oh, don't worry about that, we have backups"  (I'm such a *shit*)
"What was your username?"

He gives me his lusername.  (What an idiot)

>clickety clikc<

"But you haven't got any files in your account!" I say, mock surprise leaping
from my vocal chords.

"Yes I have, you must be looking in the wrong place!"

So first he spoils my x-tank game, and now he's calling me a liar...

>clickety click<

"Oh no, I made a mistake" I say

Did he mutter "typical" under his breath?  Oh dear, oh dear..

"I MEANT TO SAY:  That username doesn't exist"

"Huh?  >whimper< It must, I was only using it this morning!"

"Ah well, that'll be the problem, there was a virus in our system this
morning, the... uh... De Vinci Virus, wipes out users who are logged in
when it goes off."

"That can't be right, my girlfriend was logged in, and I'm in her account now!"

"Which one was that?"

He tells me the username.  Some people NEVER learn..

"Oh, yeah, her account was just after we discovered the virus."
>clickety clikc<  "..she only lost all her files"

"But..."

"But don't worry, we've got them all on tape"

"Oh, thank goodness!!!"

"Paper tape.  Have you got a magnifying glass and a pencil?
SEE YOU IN THE MACHINE ROOM!!!!   NYAHAHAHAHAHA!"

I'm such a prick!
==============================================================================

[Stay tuned for BOFH #3, tomorrow, or the next day, maybe...  -psl]

© 1993 Peter Langston