Fun_People Archive
11 Feb
bizarre guitar laws

Date: Thu, 11 Feb 93 15:20:59 PST
To: Fun_People
Subject: bizarre guitar laws

 From: <dante@microsoft.com>
 From: Ellen Eades <ellene@microsoft.com>

> ...  Campbellsville, Kentucky, politicos once passed the law, evidently
> in jest:  "No female shall appear in shorts or a bathing suit while
> playing a guitar on any street or road within this community unless she
> is escorted by at least two officers of the law or unless she be armed
> with a club." An amendment was soon after added to the original ordinance:
> "The provisions of this law shall not apply to females weighing less
> than 90 lbs nor exceeding 200 lbs, nor shall it apply to female horses."
> ...  Every woman in Ballentine, South Carolina, must "be found to be
> wearing a corset" when playing guitar.  A physician is required to inspect
> each such female to ascertain that she is, in fact, complying with this
> archaic law.
> ...  In Saratoga, Arkansas, the heels on the shoes of a woman playing
>  guitar can measure no more than 1.5 inches high!
> ...  It's a violation in New Castle, Delaware, for a citizen to carry an
> ice cream cone in his or her pocket while playing guitar.  In Forestdale,
> Rhode Island, citizens aren't allowed to sing while playing guitar around
> other people within four hours after having eaten garlic! A law in
> Lugert, Oklahoma, bans males with hair growing over their upper lip from
> teaching a female to play guitar.
> ...  Old legislation in Atwoodville, Connecticut, prohibits local citizens
> from "sticking out a tongue" in the direction of a person who is strumming
> a guitar.
> ...  Hayward, Wisconsin, stipulates that no one can kiss a woman while
> she's playing guitar unless she's "properly chaperoned." Around Bristol,
> Rhode Island, "no man can place his arm around a woman without a good
> and lawful reason" while teaching her to play guitar.
> ...  In Farmerville, Louisiana, it's illegal for anyone to play guitar
> while astride "an ugly horse."  Sparta, New Jersey, forbids anyone to
> play guitar while wearing a hat that "would scare a timid person."
> [another horse law, I'll bet --psl]
> ...  Citizens are banned from carrying a guitar without a special permit
> in Bellingham, Washington [a result of PSGW? --psl].
> ...  Lastly, Keyser, West Virginia, still retains an old piece of loony
> legislation designed to protect one segment of its female population:
> No married woman is allowed to play a guitar in public on the Sabbath
> unless she is "properly looked after." How? Her mate must always be
> close behind.  And he's required to carry a loaded gun "over his left
> shoulder."

 Source: Guitar Player Magazine
 Author: Robert Pelton

© 1993 Peter Langston