Fun_People Archive
31 Jan
Ten Professions Defined

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Sun, 31 Jan 99 17:36:55 -0800
To: Fun_People
Precedence: bulk
Subject: Ten Professions Defined

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649
Forwarded-by: Cal Herrmann <calani@netcom.com>
Forwarded-by: MIREIO@prodigy.net
Forwarded-by: Margaret A. Mills <mills.186@osu.edu>

  A statistician is someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the
personality to be an accountant.

  An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane because that
decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
(Laurence J. Peter)

  A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in
a way you don't understand.

  A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat
which isn't there.  (Charles R. Darwin)

  A topologist is a man who doesn't know the difference between a coffee
cup and a doughnut.

  A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a
"brief." (Franz Kafka)

  A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl
enters the room.

  A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children.

  A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you
the time.

© 1999 Peter Langston