Fun_People Archive
31 Mar
Fearless Forecast Update from the Upper Left Corner

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 31 Mar 98 23:33:01 -0800
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Subject: Fearless Forecast Update from the Upper Left Corner

X-Lib-of-Cong-ISSN: 1098-7649

[Fun_Readers from the Pacific Northwest (and Seattle in particular) may have
 an advantage understanding this item... -psl]

Forwarded-by: Jean Tenenbaum <jeant@olympus.net>
Excerpted-from: the Front Page of the Seattle Times Business Sect. 3/29/98

	FEARLESS FORECAST UPDATE

As the first quarter of the year comes to a close, many are reworking their
forecasts for the year--at least those who were foolish enough to make any
forecasts in the first place.

The problem --as we all have realized--the future just isn't what it used
to be.  Undaunted by the first quarter performance, I have decided that
forecasting is good for the soul, if not circulation.

So let's take a chance.  let it all hang out.  Let the reader know where
you really stand.  That kind of thing.

My thanks to Steve Leuthold, a stock-market guru, for some of these
thoughts.  And apologies to David Letterman.  So here it is.  My top 10
fearless forecasts for the rest of l998.

No. 10: China eases fears that it is going to devalue its currency by
    offering to sell Hong Kong back to the British.
No. 9: Boeing accurately forecasts its employment levels for 1998.
No. 8: Alan Greenspan and Andrea Mitchell name their dogs after Asian
    currencies.  Ringgit, Rupiah and Peso anger finance ministers throughout
    Southeast Asia.
No. 7: Starbucks files suit in federal court, insisting it has the
    copyright to the word "coffee."
No. 6: A surplus in the federal budget proves elusive as costs for special
    prosecutors begin to match the Defense Department budget.
No. 5: The combined Amex and Nasdaq begins trading options based on Greg
    Heberlein's Wall Street column.  Of course, they are called Bears.
No. 4: Bonds rise and fall.
No. 3: Stocks rise and fall.
No. 2: Nordstrom buys Frederick's of Hollywood.  The leveraged-buyout firm
    A.A. Nelson and Co., New York, completes a successful hostile takeover
    of Nordstrom.  However, work continues on the downtown flagship store
    which opens on schedule but is renamed Frederick's and Nelson.
No. 1: Microsoft will purchase, outright and for cash, the entire Dept. of
    Justice.

There you have it.  My fearless forecast for 1998.  We'll check back at the
end of the year and see how well I did.

by Stephen H. Dunphy, Sunday Economic Memo column

© 1998 Peter Langston