Prayer & Promises
Mime-Version: 1.0 (NeXT Mail 3.3 v118.2)
From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue, 17 Mar 98 21:38:36 -0800
Subject: Prayer & Promises
Forwarded-by: "Keith E. Sullivan" <KSullivan@worldnet.att.net>
As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He
called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?"
One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray."
"Good," said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life
jackets -- we're one short."
Kitty's Daily Mews <email@example.com>
NATIONAL PRAYER BREAKFAST
"Among the institutions upon which this great city prides itself, special
honor must be accorded the National Prayer Breakfast. Held once a year --
evidently on the implicit understanding that once is quite sufficient --
this august occasion brings under one roof the most extraordinary collection
of duplicity, of human hypocrisy, that has ever been gathered together in
Washington, with the possible exception of when Richard Nixon prayed alone."
--Jonathan Yardley, from the Washington Post, 2/10/97, style section, p. D2
Marc Edmond <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Quote of the Day <email@example.com>
[Yes, this one's a repeat. Sorry. -psl]
Promise Keepers are telling everybody that their rally in Washington, D.C.
was a once-in-lifetime experience. It's what they said about Woodstock and
about the pope in Central Park. Why is it that once-in-a-lifetime
experiences always involve portable toilets?
KEEPERS CASH KAPUT
BATON, LA (DPI) -- Despite their success and high membership numbers, the
Promise Keepers announced last week that they were broke. According to
sources, many of the 2 million members didn't quite live up to their promise
that their dues checks were "in the mail." Others, after coming home from
the rallies and announcing that as men they were kings and sole authority
of their palace, now are facing expensive divorce proceedings.
Additionally, the Promise Keepers practice of spending money on more big
rallies instead of, as the more established religions do, large homes,
jeweled watches, and Cadillacs for their leaders, have left them with no
material assets to liquidate. As regional Promise Keep leader Peter Paul
Marison lamented, "Who would've guessed skimming from the collection plate
is what God intended? He sure does work in mysterious ways."
Reported by Dave James
The Daily Probe, February 27, 1998 <firstname.lastname@example.org>
PROMISE KEEPERS GOES BANKRUPT OVER STRIPPERS
The evangelical men's movement, Promise Keepers, declared bankruptcy after
an independent audit found senior executives spent their entire budget on
strippers to perform at the organization's headquarters in Denver Colorado.
Promise Keeper accountants had tried to hide the expenditures by claiming
they were part of an in-house study on the "evils of having wayward thoughts
regarding sex." One executive, who asked to remain anonymous, confessed
that he and his fellow employees were having a great time. "I just quoted
some Bible lines and took out the garbage a few times a week and my wife
thought I was becoming a transformed man. She never suspected we were
having wild parties with naked girls down at headquarters," he said after
asking once more that his name not be used because he feared his wife "was
going to kill him."
Jim Miller <email@example.com>
© 1998 Peter Langston