New and Improved Effects Pedals for Musicians
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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 4 Dec 97 20:11:46 -0800
Subject: New and Improved Effects Pedals for Musicians
Forwarded-by: David Ward <firstname.lastname@example.org>
New and improved effects pedals for musicians:
Time distortion: Makes guitar solos seem longer. Can also be achieved by
Blame shifter: Shifts the pitch of mistakes down one octave so that the
audience thinks it was the bass player.
Depander: Filters out popular cover songs.
Overjive: Makes Hootie songs sound like Parliament.
Active pickups: Amplifies "signals" sent to attractive audience members.
Fluff box: Filters out excessive musical substance.
Rehash: Stores and plays back your favorite riffs constantly and forever.
Feedback Eliminator: Drowns out "constructive criticism."
Band Pass Filter: Eliminates sexual advances between band members.
Depressor: Changes any chord to E minor.
Paralytic Equalizer: Makes you as good as other guitarists by injecting them
with nerve toxins.
© 1997 Peter Langston