Fun_People Archive
18 Jun
An up-to-date Car Talk credit list

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Wed, 18 Jun 97 12:46:48 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: An up-to-date Car Talk credit list

Forwarded-by: Bob Stein <squeeze@voicenet.com>
From:  http://www.cartalk.com/About/credits.html

Car Talk Credits

Air-Quality Monitor			Carmine Dioxide
Airline Reservation Manager		Will Price Randomly
Art Critic				Phyllis Steen
Assertiveness Training Coach		Lois Steem
Asst. Directors of Computer Services	Sy Burnett and Sy Quest
Asst. Fleet Manager			Lisa Carr
Asst. Transportation Coordinator	Orson Buggy
Attorney General			Janet Torino
Auto-Body Expert			James Bondo
Automotive Finishes Consultant		Rusty Steele
Automotive Medical Researcher		Dr. Denton Fender
Automotive Registrar			Megan Model
Behavior Consultant			Wyatt B. Hoovesia
Butler in Car Talk's Scotland Division 	Angus MacCoatup
Car Talk Opera Critic			Barbara Seville
Celebrity Consultants			Richard Gere-Oil, Mick Jaguar
Chairman, Federal Lubrication Board	Alan Greasepan
Chairman, Joint Chiefs of Staff		John Shall-I-Pop-a-Wheelie
Chairman, Math Dept.			Horatio Algebra
Chairman, Oral History Dept.		Ira Caull
Chairman, Staff Physics Dept.		Victor Analysis
Chairman, Underemployment Study Group	Art Majors
Chief Legal Counsel			Hugh Louis Dewey
					of Dewey, Cheetham & Howe
Chief of Stadium Seating for the Olympics	Wayne Back
Chief of Tire Technology		Yessir Itsaflat
Child Development Expert		Dr. Benjamin Spark
Co-Chairmen of Apathy Study Group	Ben Thayer, Don Thatt
Communications Director			George Stayontopothis
Conductor Emeritus, Tappet Brothers Symphony Orchestra
					Sludgy Ozawa
Conductor, Tappet Brothers Symphony Orchestra
					Philip Harmonic
Congressional Lobbyists			Orrin Hatchback,
					Dan Rustencarski,
					Paul Simonize,
					B. F. Gingrich
Conservative Political Commentator	Eileen Tudor-Wright
Coordinator, 12-Step Recovery Program	Cody Pendant
Copyright Attorney			Pat Pending
Corporate Spokesperson			Hugh Lyon Sack
Curator of Tom's Car Collection		Rex Galore
Defense Dept. Consultant		Major Error
Dental Hygienist			Ginger Vitis
Designer of Our Casual Clothing Line	Noh Tie, Woo!
Director of Automotive Security		Boris Karlarm
Director of Cadillac Steering		Toulouse Toutrack
Director of Cold Weather Starting	Martina Neverturnover
Director of Computer Diagnostics	Gus O'Genn
Director of Computer Services		Dot Matrix
Director of Congressional Funding	Fred Knott
Director of Country Music		Stan Beyerman
Director of E-mail Responses		Peggy Flaming
Director of Gender Studies		Amanda B. Reckondwyth
Director of High-Speed Impact Studies	Ricardo Montana-Bahn
Director of Italian Traffic Enforcement	Noah U. Turna
Director of Listener Support		Noah Fundrive
Director of Lubrication			Olive Presser
Director of Long-Range Strategic Planning	Kay Sera
Director of New Product Repair		Warren T. Mifutt
Director of Nutritional Supplements	Rose Hips
Director of Pedestrian Operations	Carless Castenada
Director of Photography			Len Scapon
Director of Pollution Control		Maury Missions
Director of Purchasing			Lois Bidder
Director of Speed Bumps			Slow-Me-Down Milosevic
Director of Sports Information		Linus Scrimmage
Director of Monopoly Policy		Juan Moorehouse
Director of Staff Pay Increases		Xavier Breath
					(assisted by Tony Von Thinkett!)
Director of The Car Talk Psychic Network
					La Toyota Jackson
Director of Unsolicited Advice		H. Ross Peugeot
Director of Upward Mobility in Eastern Europe
					Zbigniew Chrysler
Director of Warm-Weather Programming	Sumner Reruns
Document Security Expert from Jamaica	Euripedes Upmann
Electronics Technician			Sammy Conductor
Elocution Coach				Richard Shun (aka Dick)
Emissions Tester			Justin Hale VII
					(I, II,III, IV, V, VI may they RIP)
Engine Cooling Systems Manager		Jean Claude Air Damme
Fact Checker				Ella Fynoe
Fashion Consultant			Natalie Attired
Fleet Manager				Oscar de la Rental
German Interpreter			Axel Hausen
Graduation Coordinators			Val and Dick Torian
Grammar Consultant			I.M. Shirley Wright
Head of Bldgs. & Grounds		Moe D'Lawn
Head of Personal Security		C. Howie Run
Head of Security			Barb Dwyer
Heads of Parts Dept.			Al Lloyd Wheel, Constance Velocity
Head of Used Car Purchasing		Ewell B. Hoffinett
Horsepower Consultant			Mr. Ed
International Lubrication Experts	C.V. Boutros Boutros Gali
					and Fidel Castrol
Jazz Music Coordinator			Bertha Deblues
Keeper of Bell Tower (Hatchback of Notre Dame)
				 	Quasi Automotive
Leader of The Former Peugeot Dealers of America Support Group
					Eustace L. Emmons
Libel Defense Director in Tokyo		Sosumi Areti
Liaison Officer to Volvo & Renault	Bjorne Toulouse
Lighting Expert				Shanda Lear
Literary Critics			Ernest & Julio Hemingway
Manager of Automotive Accessories	Francis Ford Cupholda
Manager of Car Talk Capital Depreciation Fund
					Les Ismore
Manager of Cartalk.Com			Cy Burnett  [Sy's brother? -psl]
Manager of the Employee Refrigerator	Carmen Dating
Manager of the Weekly Shrimp Buffet	Sheldon Deveigned
Marriage Counselor			Marion Haste
Montana Traffic Law Director		Hugh Jim Bissell
Nutrition Consultants			Eaton Wright and Liven Good
Parking Attendant			Rick O'Shea
Personal Trainer			Jim Shortz
Photographer				F. Stop Fitzgerald
Poet Laureate				Ogden Nash Rambler
President, Car Talk Hair Club for Men	Emerson Fittibaldie
					(he's also a client)
Producer's Office, Furnished by		Rick Kleiner
Public Opinion Pollster			Paul Murky of Murky Research
Regional Director, Atlanta		Frank Lee Scarlett
Repair Cost Consultant			Bill M. Moore
Safety Officers				Mort & Fay Tality
Sales Motivation Coach			Norman Vincent Pealeout
Seating Consultant			Rush Lumbar
Secretary of Pain Relief		Les Aspirin
Secretary of Halogen Headlamps		Made-A-Lane Allbright
Secretary of Photographic Reproduction	Fresh Prince
Sexual Harrassment Intervention Counselor
					Pat McCann
Soloists				Kerry Oki, Victor Yugo
Spiritual Counselor			Miss Dolly Lama
Staff Author				Four-Door Dostoevski
Staff Bikini Waxer			Harry Mouval
Staff Butler, from the Car Talk Bombay Division
					Mahatma Coat
Staff Carburetor Expert			Leslie Stahl
Staff Cardiologist			Angie O'Plasty
Staff Cat Feeder			Ken Opener
Staff Chaplain				Neil Down
Staff Composers				Gustav Muffler, Bela Cartok
Staff Cooks				Al Dente, Sal Monella
Staff Disciplinarian 			Les Stern
Staff Dramatist				Anton Chokeov
Staff Geneticist			Dr. Jean Poole
Staff Grief Counselor			Ariel Bummerman
Staff Meteorologist			Gail Storm
Staff Nutritionist 			Arlene Menu
Staff Physicist				Moe Mentum
Staff Psychologist 			Les Moody
Staff Reporters				Walter Windshield, Walter Crankcase
Staff Urologist				Willa Catheter
Statistician 				Marge Innovera
Surgeon General				C. Everett Koop DeVille
Tax Consultant				Lou Pole
Timing Director				Benjamin Not-Yet-You-Yahoo!
Transportation Coordinator		Rick Shaw

© 1997 Peter Langston