Fun_People Archive
14 Apr
Top5 - 4/14/97 - Side-Effects of the Giant Solar Flare

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 14 Apr 97 15:39:29 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: Top5 - 4/14/97 - Side-Effects of the Giant Solar Flare

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                         April 14, 1997

        The Top 15 Side-Effects of the Giant Solar Flare

15> George Lucas suddenly decides to add a character named "Skippy,
    the Dancing Jedi" to the next Star Wars film.

14> You're in for a nasty burn without your SPF7000 sunblock.

13> Threats to "stick it where the sun don't shine" rendered
    momentarily impotent.

12> For the first time ever, George Hamilton hesitates before
    going outside.

11> For one very brief moment, startled users connect to America
    Online.

10> Do, momentarily stunned by the bright light, steers the ship
    right into Hale-Bopp.

 9> Sales of Preparation H soar due to "sympathy flares."

 8> OJ stops golfing for a minute, looks around and says,
    "I don't see any killers here," and resumes play.

 7> Terrified Eskimos send frantic plea for help to Godzilla.
    (Oops!  That'd be a side-effect of a Giant *Polar Bear.*)

 6> Additional melted snow in Minnesota makes it the "Land of 1
    Really Big Lake."

 5> Helicopters begin dumping water on Don King's hair.

 4> Disruption of hair dryers everywhere leads to TV news anchor
    mass suicide.

 3> Malfunction in Al Gore's circuitry causes people to confuse
    him with Jim Carrey.

 2> Baywatch babes no longer baked, but now fried to a crackly
    crunch.


    and the Number 1 Side-Effect of the Giant Solar Flare...


 1> "Porpoise Melt" suddenly becomes Sea World's featured sandwich
    of the day.


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