Fun_People Archive
20 Feb
The Comedian's Eye View of 02/21/97

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Thu, 20 Feb 97 18:49:25 -0800
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Comedian's Eye View of 02/21/97

Excerpted-from: 02/21/97 -- ShopTalk

                       Friday February 21, 1997

     "Thanks to modern, high-tech ski equipment originally
      developed for use by U.S. astronauts -- 72% of all skiers
      are able to walk with assistance in less than 10 months."
		--Dave Barry

                               &&&&&&&&&&

Around the Country:  Philadelphia is trying to attract tourists with a new
slogan: "The Place Loves You Back."  L.A. has a new slogan too, says Jerry
Perisho: "The Place Where Pro Football Teams Never Come Back."

A new survey show that 89% of Americans say rudeness is a problem in our
society. "The other 11% said, 'Get lost.'" (Rudolph J Cecerra)

The Small Screen:  PBS aired Ken Burns' documentary on Thomas Jefferson this
week.  "In a move typical of sweeps tit-for-tat, Fox is airing all 240
episodes of 'The Jeffersons'" (Bob Mills)

"A lot of people were actually frightened by the NBC movie 'Asteroid.'" Says
Jay Leno. "Not to worry. Astronomers say there is only a one-in-10 chance
that another miniseries that bad will hit earth in the next 10,000 years.

"There is so much quality television this week," Leno says. "This weekend
on the TNT network you can see 'The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Special.'
This is for people who find the complicated plots on 'Baywatch' too hard to
follow."

In the News:  "The doctor who wrote the study saying Cold-Eze zinc lozenges
cure colds held stock in Cold-Eze, and his study sent the price from $1 to
$30 a share, says Argus Hamilton. "At last. A Surgeon General everybody in
Washington can agree on."

"Saturday is the birthday of our greatest president, George Washington,"
says Steve Voldseth.  "Before him, people had to pay full price for their
mattresses."

© 1997 Peter Langston