Fun_People Archive
9 Jul
A different meaning for the word "Ideally".

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Tue,  9 Jul 96 09:32:56 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: A different meaning for the word "Ideally".

["Good" and "nice" also get novel treatment...  -psl]

Forwarded-by: Keith Bostic <bostic@bsdi.com>
Forwarded-by: spaf@cs.purdue.edu (Gene "Chief Yuckster" Spafford)
Forwarded-by: Ron Heiby <heiby@falkor.chi.il.us>

Australia Sex Industry Seeks Bull Penis Export Ban
	-- By Brian Timms

    CANBERRA, Nov 22 (Reuter) - Australia's sex industry is attempting
to stop the export of tons of bull's penises to Asia because it claims
they do not really work as an aphrodisiac.

    "The libido-enhancing claims are fraudulent in the extreme," said
Robbie Swan, a spokesman for the Eros Foundation. "They are about as
much use as a bull's tongue," Swan told Reuters.

    The Foundation, which aims to raise the image of Australia's sex
industry, has asked the trade ministry to ban the export.

    But Australian meat company Tenarra Pty ltd, which this year has
flown 8,000 frozen bull's penises to Asia, mainly to China, was
unrepentant.

    "We don't claim they are aphrodisiacs. Our customers just say
'they are good for the men'," said Fred McDonald, manager of the
abattoir, near the Northern Territory capital, Darwin.

    "Some of our workers here boiled some up into a soup and they
reckon they are pretty good," said McDonald. Ideally, the penises
should be boiled for 48 hours into a soup, he added.

    The total weight of the exported penises was 5,000 tons, fetching
A$1.50 (US$1.15) a kilo, plus freight, and demand is apparently insatiable.

    "We can't get enough of them," McDonald said.

    "We don't chop them off while they are alive. Most of the bulls
killed are feral bulls running wild round the Northern Territory. They
are jumping fences to get among the herds of good cattle and farmers
want them culled out."

     To make full use of the product, the abattoir is now turning bull
scrotum bags into a useful product -- warm holders for slipping over the
base of cold cans of beer.

     Up to now, most so-called "stubby" holders have been made of
polystyrene or rubber.

     "We've dried about 1,000 scrotums for holding beer cans. They make
good Christmas presents. They're quite nice to touch," McDonald said.

    The bull penises cannot be sold in Australia as aphrodisiacs.
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