Fun_People Archive
20 May
The Top 15 Problems Encountered Along the Olympic Torch Route

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From: Peter Langston <psl>
Date: Mon, 20 May 96 14:33:02 -0700
To: Fun_People
Subject: The Top 15 Problems Encountered Along the Olympic Torch Route

Forwarded-by: The Top 5 List <top5@walrus.com>


The Top 15 Problems Encountered Along the Olympic Torch Route


15> Forward progress hampered by slow moving white Bronco.

14> Torch commandeered in Waco by over-zealous ATF agents.

13> One *really* pissed off Smokey the Bear.

12> Budget cuts cause torch to be replaced by less-than-dependable
    Bic lighter.

11> Difficulty getting melted marshmellows off torch after "s'mores"
    party got out of hand.

10> Running 7 miles before realizing the torch is still on top of
    the urinal at the last rest stop.

 9> First-degree burns to runners unfamiliar with how to "receive
    the baton."

 8> Jim Bob, lying in wait on the outskirts of Memphis with a case
    of Bud and a supersoaker.

 7> Rosie Ruiz takes flame in NYC -- appears 30 minutes later in
    Atlanta.

 6> Drive-by goosings.

 5> Torchbearers driven insane by repeated playing of the "Chariots
    of Fire" theme.

 4> Torch-jackings in urban areas.

 3> Crazed hippie terrorists replace Olympic Torch with new Olympic
    Bong.

 2> Male runners repeatedly get lost and refuse to stop for directions.


and the Number 1 Problem Encountered Along the Olympic Torch Route...


 1> Obnoxious drunks who run up and yell, "No, I meant a BUD light!"


Today's Top Five List Contributors are:
----------------------------------------------------------
Dave George, Arlington, VA        --  1, 10
Caroline Gennity, Queens, NY      --  2, 4
Alkes Price, Philadelphia, PA     --  3
Bruce Ansley, Baltimore, MD       --  5    (Hall of Famer)
Jim Louderback, New York, NY      --  5
Randy Wohl, Israel                --  6
Lemon/Rinaldi, San Francisco, CA  --  7
Perry Friedman, Palo Alto, CA     --  7, 11
Rick Welshans, Alexandria, VA     --  8
John Hering, Alexandria, VA       --  9    (Hall of Famer)
Kermit Woodall, Richmond, VA      -- 12
Tom Louderback, Breckenridge, CO  -- 12
Alan Wagner, Bayside, WI          -- 13
Steve Hurd, San Ramon, CA         -- 13
David E. Spiro, Tucson, AZ        -- 14
Lev L. Spiro, Los Angeles, CA     -- 14    (Rookie!)
Sharon Silva, Clarksville, TN     -- 15    (Rookie!)
----------------------------------------------------------
Selected from among 73 submissions by 24 contributors.
Edited by Chris White
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