Fun_People Archive
21 Jun
Babylon 5 Viruses

Date: Wed, 21 Jun 95 12:17:35 PDT
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Babylon 5 Viruses

[This compilation presumes fairly detailed knowledge of the Babylon 5 TV series
- each episode; fore-warned is four-armed... -psl]

Forwarded-by: mbkomor@remarque.berkeley.edu (m.b.komor)
Forwarded-by: tavo@gulf.net
Compiled-by: G.PLANA [Gary] on GEnie

 ==========================
 BABYLON 5 Computer Viruses that have been collected from the NET.
 ==========================

Babylon 4 Virus:  Disappears without a trace 24 hours after activation.

Bester Virus:  Runs the program you want before you can touch the keyboard.

Changeling Net Virus:  Can emulate any software, but quickly burns out your
computer's power supply.

Deathwalker Virus:  A virus that makes an infected file undeleteable.  Every
time you try to delete an infected file, some other file gets deleted instead.

Del Varner Virus: It mimics several other viruses, then self-destructs.

Dr. Kyle Virus: Inspects other viruses, then turns into Stoned.

Drazi Virus:  Takes everything you type personally.

Franklin Virus:  Doesn't consider you competent enough to run your own
programs, and will run what it thinks is for your own good.

Gray Council Virus I:  It draws holes in your graphics files.

Grey Council Virus II: Positions itself to completely wipe out everything
on your hard disk; at the last moment, it becomes benign and dormant.

Grid Epsilon Irregular Virus:  It swaps the index pointers between Imodium
and Ex-lax.

Home Guard Virus:  Only infects non-humans' computers.

Infection Virus:  The longer it runs, the more powerful your computer becomes.

Ironheart Virus:  Turns your computer into a Cray.

Ivanova Virus:  Makes your computer feel like it's not performing up to your
standards, then refuse to do anything it thinks it's being pressured to do.

Ivanova Virius II:  Does 15 different unpleasant things to your system
before breakfast and hopes it offers resistance.

Ivanova Virus III:  makes long-distance phone calls via your modem, but
quits whenever you run a security program.

jms virus:  Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

JMS Virus: Only infects files created by word processing (Works, Word,
WordPerfect). Re-arranges the storylines to make them unbelievably complex
and extremely entertaining. No known anti-viral agent known, but most
researching the problem(?) could care less.

J. Michael Straczinski, Executive Producer Virus I:   Creates all the
previously mentioned viruses and then answers all requests for data with
"Wait and see".

J. Michael Straczinski, Executive Producer Virus II:  Occasionally causes
an "*EEP*!" to appear on your terminal screen where you can't see it, while
it's doing something wonderful.

Knight Virus:  Accuses you of treason, then destroys your hard drive trying
to prove it.

Ko'dath Virus:  Appears briefly, and then is forced out the parallel port.

Kosh Virus I:  Yes.

Kosh Virus II:  Related to the Stoned virus.  It will destroy files it
thinks you're not ready for, makes your computer speak in riddles, and
exiles any virus checkers that have examined it.

ViCaR Virus:  Subjects your computer to all sorts of confusing input,
records the responses that show where it's most vulnerable, and passes the
information  on to the Kosh virus.

Londo Virus I:  A cute virus that turns your screen stunning shades of
purple.  Annoying because it borrows memory from other programs and never
gives it back, but otherwise harmless.

Londo Virus II: Viruses by the bushel, viruses by the score. It becomes one
with the universe, and then passes out.

Londo Virus III: Disassembles your computer and sells the pieces as
"trinkets" on the internet.

G'Kar Virus:  Tries to link with other viruses and keeps getting rejected.

Na'toth Virus:  Seeks and destroys the Deathwalker Virus.  Then will link
up with the G'Kar virus and both will try to create general havoc with your
system and then blame it all on the Londo virus.

Mordren Virus:  Won't go away until you tell it what you want.

PsiCop Anti-Virus scanner : It knows about all the other viruses, but it
isn't telling.

Raider Virus:  Waits until you leave the room, then steals your files.

Shadow Virus:  Tracks down the Raider virus, destroys it, and restores all
the files it stole.

Sinclair Virus:  Takes total command of your system, but can't find 24K of
its own code.

Delenn Virus:  Follows the Sinclair Virus around and kills it if it finds
that missing 24K of code.

Lennier Virus:  Only follows the Delenn virus's orders.

Minbari Virus I:  Wipes out all files from the last 24 hours, then deletes
itself.  If your system has previously been infected by the Soul Hunter
Virus, it will find the hidden files and delete them.

Minbari Virus II: decides at the last moment *not* to infect your computer,
but refuses to explain why. (Waitaminnit...what the hell am *I* doing
contributing to this...?!  jms)

Soul Hunter Virus:  Appears on your system whenever you try to delete a
file.  It grabs the file and puts it in a secret location on your hard drive
with all the other files you thought you deleted.

Sigma 9 Virus:  It appears out of nowhere, knocks your computer off the
desk, and you're left yelling, "What the hell was THAT?!"

Takashima Virus I:  Pretends to be a virus checker, but lets in other
viruses intended to make the operating system look like a virus itself.

Takashima Virus II: Won't allow access to your systems, until all incoming
data is checked.  It does, however, draw a nice fruit basket on your screen
while you wait...

Thenta Makur Virus I:  Deletes a file every time you come within ten feet
of your computer.  Wipes your hard drive if you venture closer than five
feet.

Thenta Makur Virus II:  You will know corruption, you will know deletion,
and then, you will crash.

Vir Virus:  Claims to be the operating system, but only plays video games.

Walker Smith Virus: Walks up to your virus checker, and they beat each other
up for an hour or two.

Uncle Usel Virus: Convinces your computer to spend three days mourning for
every file you delete.

© 1995 Peter Langston