Fun_People Archive
13 Jun
Milk

Date: Tue, 13 Jun 95 23:07:00 PDT
From: Peter Langston <psl>
To: Fun_People
Subject: Milk

Forwarded-by: Chris LaFournaise <cjl@sequent.com>

Somebody left a glass of milk next to the keyboard.  Reaction?

Optimist:
The glass is half full.

Pessimist:
The glass is half empty.

Futurist:
The milk's in the wrong half of the glass.

Pascal programmers:
Well, what type of milk is it?

C Programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.

Assembly programmers:
No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.

Basic programmers:
No thanks; I'm still breast feeding.

MIS:
I'LL DRINK IT IF YOU CAN GIVE ME UNTIL NEXT YEAR.

Fuzzy logic guys:
I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.

Prolog programmers:
I know I drank it - just don't ask me how.

Non-procedural language programmers:
I drank it when nobody was looking.

UI designers:
What's that crap in my glass?

Pentium users:
I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don't hold me to that.

Windows users:
Where's my straw?

Mac users:
Where's my pump?

UNIX users:
Nahh . . . too easy.

Multimedia author:
<slurp!>

Shareware game author:
That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.

Security consultant:
Where'd the rest of the milk go?

CIA:
What makes you think that's milk?

NSA:
We know what it really is.

Copy protection crazies:
Somebody drank half my milk and didn't pay for it!

Free Software Foundation:
That milk is the cow's contribution to all mankind!

Schroedinger:
That damned cat got into the milk again!

Bill Gates:
Not enough market share to be Microsoft Milk.

Apple Computer:
You guys really oughta be drinking Perrier.

[	My girlfriend:
	The glass is too big.

	Herb Peyerl's ex girlfriend:
	Do you think I'm fat?		-cjl & hpeyerl@beer.org ]

IBM:
Rent the glass from us and we'll fill it with something we know is
good for you.

IRS:
Thanks for getting your milk witholding correct this year.

National news media:
Hey, we wanted OJ!

© 1995 Peter Langston