Laws of the Universe
Date: Thu, 16 Jun 94 13:56:59 PDT
Subject: Laws of the Universe
Forwarded-by: firstname.lastname@example.org (Henry Cate)
From: the forthcoming book "Murphy's Son-In-Laws" [Sons-In-Law? -psl],
By: Arthur Bloch
O'Reilly's Law of the Kitchen
Cleanliness is next to impossible
Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter, because nobody listens.
Virtue is its own punishment.
If the shoe fits, it's ugly
In any organization, there will always be one person who knows what's
going on. This person must be fired.
Green's Law of Debate
Anything is possible if you don't know what you're talking about.
Stewart's law of Retroaction
It's easier to get forgiveness than it is to get permission.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by
When we try to pick out anything by itself, we find it hitched to
everything else in the universe.
First Rule of History
History doesn't repeat itself - Historians merely repeat each other.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Oliver's Law of Location
No matter where you go, there you are.
When the going gets tough, everyone leaves.
Glyme's Formula for Success
The secret to success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you've
got it made.
Mason's First Law of Synergism
On the one day you'd sell your soul for something, souls are a glut.
The Sausage Principle
People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch
either one being made.
From: "1001 Logical Laws, Accurate Axioms, Profound Principles, Trusty
Truisms, Homey Homilies, Colorful Corollaries, Quotable Quotes,
and Rambunctious Ruminations For All Walks of Life,"
By: John Peers, (who is also president of Logical Machine Corporation)
A few brief excerpts:
The Gordian Maxim
If a string has one end, it has another.
You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
No good deed goes unpunished.
No man's life, liberty, or property are safe while the legislature
is in session.
Inside every large program is a small program struggling to get out.
It is a mistake to let any mechanical object realise that you are
in a hurry.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique, just like everyone
© 1994 Peter Langston