Fun_People Archive
3 Jan
You liked the fish tank channel?

Date: Mon,  3 Jan 94 02:47:59 PST
To: Fun_People
Subject: You liked the fish tank channel?

 From: "pardo@cs.washington.edu"

[A while ago I forwarded a story about the "fish tank channel";
 This is a great follow-on.  Thanks, Dennis!]

 From: Dennis Gentry <dennis@phoenix.cs.washington.edu>
 From: Christian_Molick (Christian Molick)
 (from Harper's, 1/94)

The Vaster Wasteland: excerpts from a Well discussion on what to
fill the first 500 channels of broadcast interactive television
with.

The Airport Luggage Inspection Channel: Direct video feeds from
baggage x-rays around the world.

The Patty Duke Channel: with archival footage of her wedding to
John Astin shown in-between episodes.

The Laundry Channel: 24 hrs. of the window of an industrial washing
machine.

A 24 hr. White House channel:  Enough with the odd press briefing
and Rose Garden chat; I want to see who's walking the halls.  I want
to see them shampoo the carpets at 4 am.  I want to see the chef
fixing a state dinner.  I want an interview with the guy or gal
who mows the lawn.  I want to know what kind of homework Chelsea
has today.

The Supermarket-Aisle Channel:  Long tracking shots of carefully
stacked cans of potted meat.  What's New in Vienna Cocktail Franks.
Interviews with stock clerks.  Box Cutting: "How Not to Slice the
Cereal Boxes Open." Checkers Corner: "What's the Item Cutoff in
the Express Line?"

CNN Minus 365: Last year's complete CNN feed.

The Just-Like-Me Channel: 24 hrs. of people on sofas, remote control
in hand, watching TV.

Channel Destructo: 24 hrs. of very big things being blown apart,
crashed into rivers, or being shot at with large weapons.

A channel-surfing-channel that will show me whatever it is that
various celebrities are watching at that moment.

The Counter Channel: Every time another viewer flips to it, a big
counter increases by one.  Sometimes everyone would tune in just to
watch the numbers tally really fast.

The Endoscopic Surgery Channel: Coronary arteries.  Urethras.  The
brain stem.  They can see it, why not you?

Abyssal Submarine TV:  Live from the depths of the Mariana Trench.
Sunday's feature: 24 soothing hours of the sulfur-sucking tubeworms
of the East Pacific Rise.


...drue

© 1994 Peter Langston